Memories of a Bygone past

Chapter 18

Disembarking from the airship after several hours, I arrived at the port.

This regional city, located midway between the Royal Capital and the Bartfault territory, was brimming with an unusual vitality.

The memorial service for those who perished in the war against the Fanoss Duchy was taking place .

Indeed, it was a time when many visitors from other territories came to pay their respects, making it a good opportunity to meet discreetly.

I felt more fear than admiration for the meticulous planning as usual.

Blending into the crowd, I headed towards my destination.

I checked my current location on the map in hand and occasionally asked locals for directions, make my way towards the destination.

The distance wasn't significant; on any other day, I could cover it without feeling tired.

But my felt my steps heavy due to my unwarranted emotions.

Meeting someone you don't want to see is a hassle for anyone.

Especially when it’s someone you parted ways with years ago without proper goodbyes.

Leon said, "If you don't want to meet them, you don't have to."

I was blessed to such kind husband.

That's why I had to meet them.

The present is a canvas brushed with the colors of yesterday, while each heartbeat of now carves the contours of what is yet to come.

I don't know what will happen if I run away.

It's not like the person I’m meeting is so narrow-minded to retaliate just because I refuse to meet them.

The problem is that ignorance will surely limit future options.

That person holds highly useful information.

Essential per se, and therefore, handling it wrong could be fatal.

Information I could obtain after leaving the Royal Capital is limited.

In the past, I could fully leverage the inner workings of the kingdom and the connections of the Duke's family as the future queen, but now I'm just the wife of a rural lord.

The information brought by my father and brother is only from the Duke’s family's perspective and is at a level where it wouldn't hurt even if leaked to someone.

Unless the Bartfault family becomes a complete retrainer of the Redgrave family then things would different.

But If we are to be caught in a struggle between the royal family and the dukedom, I want as much information as possible.

That person likely read my thoughts this far and sought this meeting.

Annoyingly competent, a reliable ally but a troublesome enemy.

Let’s stop, thinking more will only get me depressed.

I too am not emotionally composed because of my pregnancy.

It's bad for the prenatal* education if my worries transmit to the child in my womb.

[T/N- not speling mistake a real word , meaning even I don't know fully just ovaries kind of thingy]

Even with a heavy heart, as I keep moving my feet, I inevitably reached my destination.

The restaurant had a classic exterior that suggested a rich history, but stylish touches gave it a modern, chic appearance.

It was popular for the dishes prepared by a skilled chef and desserts aimed at young customers, attracting many patrons from other territories.

From where I get such information ?

Just because many of the kingdom's nobles had fallen into decadence didn't mean that all the institutions had become incompetent.

If there are people who can make good use of it, even poor information can be pieced together to reach the truth.

I couldn't help but feel a chill run down my spine.

I resolved myself and entered the store, speaking to the staff.

"I am from Bartfault house."

"We have been expecting you. This way to the private room."

They responded politely and guided me to a private room.

This restaurant had private rooms often used for secret meetings among nobles, according to rumors.

Internally clicking my tongue, I followed the staff.

Should I have brought Leon alongside?

No, I want to avoid dragging him into trouble.

I had already reported visiting this restaurant beforehand.

‘No way, Angie would never have a secret rendezvous with another man.’

I felt a bit resentful of my husband who sent me off without any suspicion.

While that’s true, he should be more cautious.

I would be happy if he showed some possessiveness towards me, even if he became paranoid and suspected an affair.

Leon trusts me too much in odd ways.

Thinking that he has so much faith in me isn’t a bad feeling, yes I decided to see it that way.

The private room I was led to had an aged table and cushions.

The room was meticulously clean with not a speck of dust left behind, and the well-maintained furniture hinted at why that person chose this restaurant.

The staff pulled out a chair for me, so I handed over my belongings and sat down slowly.

I was given a menu, but it would be rude to order before that person arrived.

I waved my hand to dismiss the staff.

Looking at my watch, there was still some time left before the appointed hour.

I thought of my husband and our children who were not here.

I left Lionel and Ariel with my father-in-law and mother-in-law, and Leon was on his way to the Royal Capital for business.

I took out a compact mirror to check my appearance.

I never imagined the day would come when we would meet again.

Five years ago, the bond that connected us was supposed to have been severed.

From an outsider’s perspective, it looked like I was practically exiled from the Royal Capital and married off to a rural lord.

Wanting to meet me, it must mean something significant is happening in the Royal Capital.

This meeting is a kind of battle; if I hesitate, I will be swallowed by the other’s pace.

I must approach with the resolve to incorporate that person.

I steeled myself and continued to wait for the visitor, the ticking of the clock sounding unusually loud.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※

Stifling a yawn, I organized the letters.

I was sleepy, just so sleepy.

Two months into my pregnancy, my body was beginning to change in preparation for giving birth.

Though my belly wasn't showing yet, my senses of taste and smell had become sharper, and my appetite fluctuated.

It felt as though the fetus was absorbing my life force as to established its existence.

From the neck down, I was plagued by hunger, but from the neck up, I couldn't swallow food due to morning sickness.

Even trying to distract myself with work, I was overwhelmed by fatigue and just couldn't stay awake.

Pregnancy is truly hard obstacle.

On top of that, Leon, concerned about my condition, was overly eager to take care of me.

I had heard that men often fuss more than their pregnant wives, and apparently, my husband was a prime example.

During the crucial early stages of pregnancy, I understood the need for caution, but trying to keep our children and everyone in the Bartfault family away from me was excessive.

Furthermore, his attempts to distance our two children from me only made them dislike him more, and seeing him lament in our bedroom was a bit annoying for someone emotionally unstable due to pregnancy.

It had become a common sight in the Bartfault household for me to scold Leon for trying to take over the territorial management work out of his excessive concern for me.

With the upcoming awards ceremony for the war against the Fanoss Duchy, the territorial finances and compensation for lost citizens needed to be accurately calculated and reported.

Originally, this should have been settled by sending the documents, but every lord was trying to inflate their achievements to increase their rewards.

In the past, it was common for lords to personally visit the royalty and loudly boast of their achievements, pushing through their demands with momentum.

Though such blatant actions are no longer seen, every lord still wants to increase their allocation through various preparations.

While the Bartfault family has the support of the Redgrave family, making such efforts unnecessary, though Leon still needs to make a personal appearance to maintain a good impression.

Leon has a tendency to underreport his achievements due to his low self-assessment and aversion to advancement.

While that might be fine for an individual, it’s a fatal flaw for a lord.

For the future development of the Bartfault territory, we need to secure as much funding as possible.

Sighing, I sorted through the letters.

Letters from various parts of the Bartofalt territory, letters from other territories, letters addressed to Viscount Bartfault, and letters to Leon personally.

Various kinds, but almost all of them were for Leon.

I exclude letters addressed personally to Leon and use a letter opener to open the rest.

Reports are sent to relevant parties, invoices to accounting later, and letters from other territories I review myself, reporting anything significant to Leon immediately.

If Leon is going to be promoted, we'll need to increase the number of civil servants soon.

So far, the Bartfault territory has been managed mostly by its* lord's family, but as our power grows, so will our need for manpower.

The letter-opening process was nearing its end, and I finally reached the last one.

But the addressee was "Angelica Fou Bartfault."

In other words, a letter addressed to me personally.

Occasionally, I receive invitations from noblewomen or young ladies from other territories, but they are always addressed to "Lady Bartfault," never in my personal name.

This means it must be from someone who knows me personally and is close to me beyond our social standings.

Is there anyone like that in my life now?

On the day I was condemned, no one stood by me.

Those who had once flattered and fawned over me turned against me, hurling abuse.

In noble society, such duplicity isn't even considered basic etiquette, but the blatant change in their attitude was so extreme it was almost laughable.

Those who distanced themselves from me out of conviction were the better ones.

Most followed Marquis Frampton, who fabricated crimes, colluded with other countries, and committed treason.

Once his crimes were revealed, many of his followers were punished.

The royal family had no intention of pardoning those associated with him, and neither my father nor I were kind enough to protect traitors.

As a result, the Redgrave family was reinstated at court, and the royal family declined to the point where they couldn't act against the Dukedom.

There were some who pathetically begged for my mercy, but most were punished, and no one would now dare to send me a letter.

For now, I had to open the letter.

As I grabbed the letter, it felt smooth.

Though the color was plain, I could tell the paper was meticulously crafted.

Such paper is often used by high-ranking individuals who don't want the existence of their letters to be conspicuous.

I had a feeling this would be troublesome.

I picked up the letter opener and turned it over.

The letter opener I was holding slipped from my hand and fell to the floor with a clatter.

I had seen

 the seal on the wax many times.

The family this seal represents no longer exists in this country; it belongs to that person's family.

They had once laughed and said it was perfect for unofficially indicating a letter from them.

"Why now?"

That person and I should have nothing to do with each other anymore.

There's no benefit for them in associating with me, a country lord's wife.

Considering the time and effort it would take, it would be easier to just summon me.

I picked up the letter opener and cut the seal.

Carefully and slowly, the sound of the paper being cut was drowned out by the loud beating of my heart.

I finished opening the letter and read it.

It only contained a date and location, with no name of the sender.

This made it safe from prying eyes, but it also heightened my fear.

The inescapable past seemed to grip my feet.

Anxiety overwhelmed me, making it difficult to think clearly; this was too big a problem to handle alone.

"Should I consult the Redgrave family immediately?"

No, if the letter itself is a trap against the duke's family, contacting them recklessly is dangerous.

I felt like I had walked right into a trap.

"Should I consult Leon then?"

That would be the best option.

However, I hesitated.

Before our marriage, I had confessed my past actions, and Leon listened without saying a word.

I want to believe our bond won't waver now, but if this involves that person, Leon will inevitably be drawn into the central political strife.

I've seen Leon repeatedly say he doesn't want to climb the ranks.

Would I really force him into an unwanted position and into political strife because of me?

The situation was so distressing it made me dizzy.

Maybe if I kept quiet, he wouldn't notice?

Leon would surely forgive me.

That cowardly thought crossed my mind for a few moments before I shook it off.

When I married Leon and bore our children, I resolved to be a good wife and mother and to commit myself to the Bartofalt territory.

Thus, my course of action was clear.

I stood up from my chair and looked for Leon, who was in the mansion.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※

As I wandered around the mansion searching for Leon, I heard the voices of our children from the garden.

Looking out the window, I saw the familiar black hair.

Just seeing him made me feel relieved, and at the same time, I felt irritated that he prioritized the children over me.

Was I always this insatiable?

Even though I seek his love, I foolishly felt jealous of our children, the embodiment of that love.

I forced myself to believe it was just my pregnancy making me emotionally unstable and went outside.

Lionel and Ariel were playing quietly.

They didn't start fighting if either Leon or I were nearby; how typically childish.

Leon was sitting on a garden bench in a sunny spot.

He was just sitting there, watching over the children with a relaxed expression.

I made a point of sitting next to Leon noisily.

He glanced at me for a moment before turning his gaze back to the children.

To an outsider, it would appear to be a heartwarming scene.

However, underlying this scene were various schemes that were about to engulf us.

I was the main cause of this situation.

That thought made me hesitate to speak.

"I'll leave for the royal capital tomorrow."

Leon, sensing my hesitation, spoke to me first.

"Tomorrow? That's quite sudden."

"I want to get the unpleasant things over with quickly and come back soon. I'm worried about you and the kids."

"I'm more worried about you."

In truth, I felt the opposite.

Leon was slowly but surely growing as a noble and a lord.

While it made me happy, it also made me a bit lonely.

I loved Leon's simplicity.

Having lived as a pawn in endless political struggles from a young age, this place's ease was a salvation for me.

If Leon gets too absorbed in noble society, will the Leon I know cease to exist?

If he hadn't married me, he could have lived more freely.

Sometimes, I get caught up in such fears.

"I hate to be forgotten, even by the kids."

"It should be over in ten days at most. Even children won't forget in that time."

Leon feared being disliked by the children more than anything.

His silly words made him seem like any other young man, not a soldier.

"A letter just arrived. It's from someone who has taken care of me for many years."

"Someone who lives in the royal capital?"

"Yes, they have connections with the duke's family and hold a high position at court."

"Why now?"

His disrespectful tone was understandable, given that Leon had never met that person.

"I don't know. But it probably isn't just a casual invitation. The royal capital doesn't seem to be in a celebratory mood."

"The thought of going to the royal capital is off-putting. Why is there always trouble there?"

"If I asked you not to go to the royal capital, would you stay?"　

Unconsciously, I said such words.

"Is it okay for you to say that?"

"Intellectually, I understand you need to go to the royal capital. But my true wish is for you to stay."

I gently grasped Leon's left hand.

His palm, hardened from farming and military service, was rough and calloused, not like that of a noble.

Yet I loved this hand.

The hand that hugged and caressed me was warm and big.

"But I have to go. I'm the lord."

"I wish we weren't born a noble."　

I knew it was a childish delusion, but I couldn't help but think it.　

"Are you sure you won't feel homesick after meeting this person and want to return to the royal capital?"

"Why the sudden question?"

"I just realized I've never met your acquaintances before."

Indeed, apart from the duke's family, I hadn't introduced Leon to my acquaintances.

Most of those I thought were close abandoned me when I was condemned.

"I don't have many good memories of the royal capital. My place is here."

I squeezed his left hand tightly.

Intertwining our fingers, showing our inseparable bond.

"So I want you to come back here. Don't get swayed by women in the capital."

"No woman is better than you, so don't worry."

"Do you not doubt my meeting with an old acquaintance? Don't you suspect I might have an affair in your absence?"

"There's no way you'd meet another man alone."

Where does his confidence come from?

Sighing at my dear husband's naivety, I looked at our children.

The twins were still playing in the garden.

Time seemed to slow down, making me sleepy.

"Please come back as soon as possible. The bed is too big to sleep alone."

It was a rather direct way of putting it, but it would be effective.

I waited for a response, but Leon said nothing for a long time.

When I looked to the side, I saw Leon had fallen asleep, breathing steadily.

Since I got pregnant, he had taken on some of my work, so he must have been exhausted.

He had been struggling with paperwork in preparation for his trip to the royal capital.

I decided to let him sleep.

Thinking that, I rested my head on Leon's shoulder.

Leon’s body, moving with his breath, lulled me to sleep.

Holding hands, we both fell into the world of slumber.

※　※　※　※　※

The sound of knocking on the door swiftly brought my drifting consciousness back to reality.

It seemed I had been more relaxed than I thought.

Looking at the clock, it was exactly the appointed time.

A person of high standing should neither arrive early nor late, as it inconveniences those who host them.

Despite appearing carefree, her punctuality is due to her noble nature.

Standing up, I lowered my head and knelt in a respectful posture.

Unlike when I was a duke's daughter, I am now a viscountess.

It would be disrespectful to look directly at her.

Slowly, the door opened, and she entered the room.

Bowing deeply, I greeted her.

"Your Highness, Queen Mylene Rapha Holfault of the Holfault Kingdom, I hope you are well."

The most prestigious woman in the Holfault Kingdom, embodying both grace and beauty, had arrived.

There was no more escaping.

I should have known the moment I came here, yet my body trembled.

This is a battle.

The court's daily political strife now takes place in a different setting.

Thus, I was drawn into a harsh and intense struggle that would shape the future of the Holfault Kingdom.

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Authors Note

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My writing speed changes drastically based on my mood. (An excuse)

With the start of the Marie route serialization and the illustration gift from the requester, my enthusiasm skyrocketed.

Hence, the new chapter begins.

The concept of this work is both the "salvation of the villainess Angelica" and the "redemption of those who have committed mistakes."

Unless they are irredeemable villains, I want everyone to find happiness. Isn't there no such thing as a perfect saint? This is my approach to a happy ending. (Or maybe I just can't write overly tragic developments.)

From this chapter onward, not only Ange and Leon but other original characters will also appear.

P.S.: I had Choro-sama draw the illustration for this chapter. Thank you very much.

I also had Saku Tsuki Yakumo-sama draw an illustration for a different chapter. Thank you very much.

I would appreciate any opinions or feedback for future.

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Translator Note

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Hey I am back. last week a said I will on Break or post on only Sunday due to semester exams! So second option it is , it will will be for next two weeks too , , expect regular updates (thrice a week) again in August first week . H do not worry for next two weeks in Sundays there will be atleast 3-4 chapter not only one . I was not sure I will continue this series or not that's my only on chap.