Volume 1 Episode 10

This is absurd. Completely absurd. Why am I the one who has to be kicked out of her room?

I don’t know how many times I’ve knocked, but I hit Miyagi’s door one more time with a loud thud before stopping. No matter how much I knock, Miyagi isn’t coming out, and I’m probably disturbing the neighbors.

But I can’t accept this. Because Miyagi is the one who’s acting strange. I didn’t do anything.

Miyagi’s the one who tried to do something, so if anyone has the right to be upset, it’s me, not her. I’m tempted to knock on the door again, but after hesitating, I turn away from the entrance. Looking down at the city from the sixth floor, all I see are people and cars—not exactly a scenic view. This fancy apartment seems designed for convenience, not for appreciating the landscape.

This isn’t fun.

Not the view, not Miyagi, not anything.

I let out a big sigh and head toward the elevator. Usually, I’d ride the elevator down with Miyagi, but today I’m alone. I pass through the entrance, step outside, and walk through the city.

At the very least, Miyagi doesn’t hate me. We’re not friends or lovers, but I think she feels something close to affection for me. That’s why it’s so strange that she kicked me out like that.

“It’s like I’m the one who did something wrong,” I mutter.

Miyagi’s the one who ordered me to close my eyes, and she’s the one who tried to kiss me.

Then she stopped halfway, told me to go home, and threw me out without even listening to me. Ordering someone around and then abandoning things like that—it’s not right. …No, that’s a lie.

Miyagi didn’t force me to obey. I manipulated her into giving that order. I wanted to know what would happen to me if I kissed Miyagi.

I made her give that order.

But Miyagi’s the one who ultimately chose to give it. Since she decided to do it, she should take responsibility. It’s unfair to stop in the middle like that, no matter how you look at it. I quicken my pace. I walk so fast I’m almost out of breath, hurrying home and shutting myself in my room. I feel a little hungry, but I’m not in the mood to eat dinner. I change out of my uniform into casual clothes and pull my wallet out of my bag.

“She wouldn’t take it back, would she?”

What I did today doesn’t feel worth five thousand yen. I’d like to return it, but Miyagi’s so stubborn she’d probably refuse. Worse, she might not even contact me again. I stuff the five-thousand-yen bill into my piggy bank and lift it. I can’t tell if it feels heavier, but there’s definitely five thousand yen more in there, and my mood feels just as heavy.

“Stupid Miyagi.”

I grumble at the piggy bank and flop onto my bed. When things like this happen, Miyagi avoids me.

It was the same before spring break when she spilled soda on me. She ran away from me and didn’t contact me. She acts on impulse, and when it backfires, she avoids me, thinking that’ll solve everything.

“She’s probably going to do the same thing this time, isn’t she?”

✧✧✧✧✧

As expected, my prediction is correct, and I don’t hear from Miyagi for five days. In the classroom after school, I stare at my phone screen.

Five days might not seem like much, but considering what happened between me and Miyagi, it feels like a long time. There have been times when we didn’t talk for this long before, but this time, I don’t think she’ll reach out even if I wait a week or two.

Miyagi, who’s never apologized before, apologized this time. I don’t know why she felt the need to, but it’s reason enough for her to avoid me.

I put my phone in my bag and glance at Umina, sitting diagonally in front of me. She’s excitedly talking with Mariko about after-school plans. When I call out to her, she tells me what they’ve decided.

“Hey, we were just talking, and we’re going to the usual place, right?”

“Sorry, I’ve got cram school today. Can we do it another time?”

“What? Come on, skip it for once!”

“If my parents find out, it’ll be a hassle.”

“Just make your parents mad, who cares?” Umina says irresponsibly, and Mariko chimes in with a casual “Yeah, yeah.”

“I’ll treat you next time,” I say, suggesting a few menu items as we head to the shoe lockers. I put on my shoes with them, and we part ways at the school gate. After Umina and Mariko disappear, I take a different route than the one to cram school. I’ve never skipped cram school before, but I have no intention of going today. I feel a little bad for Umina and the others, but I already have plans for after school.

My destination is Miyagi’s apartment.

Walking the familiar route quickly, I arrive in no time. There’s only one thing to do here. I call Miyagi through the intercom at the entrance. No response.

“Well, of course she wouldn’t answer.”

Once, twice, three times. I press the intercom button, but I don’t hear Miyagi’s voice.

I expected this.

I take out my phone and send Miyagi a message. Usually, she’s the one who contacts me after school, and I’ve never messaged her first, but this is the second time I’ve sent her a message telling her to let me in.

“Miyagi, answer the intercom.”

“You’re there, aren’t you?”

“Don’t ignore me, let me in.”

The messages are marked as read, but there’s no reply. Knowing it’s bad manners, I press the intercom repeatedly. After the class change at the end of spring break, when I did the same thing here, she let me in. But today, she doesn’t answer the intercom or respond to my messages.

I’m pissed.

Really pissed.

For the first time, I call her. As expected, the phone just rings endlessly, and I don’t hear Miyagi’s voice.

“Pick up the phone.”

My messages stop even being marked as read.

“Why is she so stubborn? She’s not a kid, just answer me.”

Midterms are coming up.

I shouldn’t be wasting time sending Miyagi a ton of messages like this. But if I don’t resolve this issue, I won’t be able to focus on studying for the test. Not a single thing I need to memorize is sticking in my head.

It’s all Miyagi’s fault. I feel unsteady, like I’m dizzy with a bad case of vertigo. I leave the apartment and head home. It’s not like this is a big deal.

If my relationship with Miyagi ends, it doesn’t matter. It was supposed to last only until graduation, so it’s just ending a little early. It’s a shame, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ll lose a comfortable place to hang out, but I can find another one.

But I won’t forgive her for ending things in such a half-assed way. I don’t know how I got home, but I’m here. I probably took the usual route. Nothing’s changed in my daily life except for Miyagi ignoring me.

I enter my room and look at my desk. All it takes is one trigger. I put Miyagi’s eraser, which I’d left out, into my pencil case.

✧✧✧✧✧

The teacher’s lecture drags on. It feels like he’s deliberately making it long. The bell has already rung. I close my textbook and notebook, take the eraser out of my pencil case, and mentally urge the teacher, still standing at the podium, to leave. I tap my foot against the floor.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

Staring at the teacher so intensely it could burn a hole through him, he hands out worksheets while talking about homework and slowly leaves the classroom. I quickly clear my desk and call out to Umina, sitting diagonally in front of me. “Sorry, go eat without me. I’ve got somewhere to go.”

Lunch break is long enough for a break, but considering what I’m about to do, it feels short. There’s no time to dawdle.

“Where are you going?”

“Just next door.”

With that, I head to the next classroom. In my hand is an eraser. Its owner is in the next class. Class 2 is just down the hall, and I smile politely at a girl by the entrance, asking her to call Miyagi. After a loud “Miyagi-san!” I hear the familiar “What?” in response. The voice comes from near the middle of the windows.

Miyagi, who’s with her friends, looks surprised. The girl who called her adds, “Your friend’s here,” making Miyagi’s expression turn sour.

But only for a moment.

As expected, she doesn’t get mad at school. That’d be interesting, but Miyagi doesn’t seem inclined to drop her polite facade. She’s spoken to by Utsunomiya and the others, who are surprised by the “friend” comment, and after giving a vague response, she comes over to me.

“…This is school,” she says, furrowing her brow in annoyance and embarrassment.

“I know.”

“Then don’t talk to me. That’s the rule, isn’t it?”

Her biting tone is full of frustration, but she’s conscious enough to keep her voice low so only I can hear her.

“This was in my pocket. Returning something like this is like turning in lost property, so it’s not weird to talk to you at school, right?”

I show her the eraser in my hand.

“For something like that—”

“You don’t need to return it, just keep it. Right?” I cut her off, and Miyagi falls silent. I know exactly what she’d say in a situation like this. That’s how much time we’ve spent together.

“I’ll keep it, but we need to talk first.”

I put the eraser in my skirt pocket and grab Miyagi’s arm.

“Hey, wait—”

“We’ll stand out here, so come with me.”

We’re probably already standing out, but it’s better than continuing to talk at the classroom entrance.

I drag Miyagi along.

The hallway during lunch break is fairly crowded, and pulling Miyagi by the hand makes us stand out even more. She notices and quickly shakes off my hand, walking on her own. Maybe she thinks I’ll chase her if she tries to escape, because she follows silently without complaining.

At the far end of the old school building, I push the unusually obedient Miyagi into the music prep room and take her to the back.

“What’s the point of dragging me all the way here? I was eating lunch,” Miyagi says, no longer hiding her irritation now that we’re in a place where students rarely come during break. Her low, familiar voice makes it clear she’s angry.

“I wouldn’t have to do this if you didn’t keep avoiding me.”

I lean against a shelf with instruments and grab Miyagi’s arm again. She looks like she forgot how to be polite somewhere along the way, but she doesn’t resist. She stands there, letting me hold her arm.

“We agreed not to talk at school.”

“You said we’d only contact each other by phone and not talk at school, but I never agreed to that.”

It’s a cheap argument.

Last year, I accepted Miyagi’s proposal, implying I’d follow it, and it became our rule. So, Miyagi’s words are technically correct. But I couldn’t back down.

There’s something I absolutely need to ask Miyagi, and something I need to say.

“…Even so, there’s nothing to talk about in a place like this.”

Miyagi seems to briefly entertain my unreasonable words but quickly shoots me a resentful look.

“You might not have anything to say, but I do.”

“Then just talk about it next time you come to my place.”

“You always avoid calling me when stuff like this happens, and you try to just let things end.”

“I’ll call you.”

“When? Yesterday, when I went to your place, you ignored the intercom and my calls, didn’t you?”

“…I just happened to miss the intercom and the phone. I was going to call you eventually.”

Miyagi says this in a tone that doesn’t sound like she means it, claiming she was going to call me, though it feels anything but true.

As I thought, I have to ask her here.

If I let go of her now, this will be the end of us. I tighten my grip on her arm.

“I have something I want to ask, so answer me.”

I don’t hear a yes or a no, but I continue.

“Why did you kick me out?”

My voice echoes in the old, far-from-pristine music prep room. Miyagi doesn’t speak or move. The room, lined with weathered instrument cases, offers no help in breaking the stagnant air between us.

“Answer me.”

I tug on her arm, but Miyagi steps back, signaling she has no intention of answering.

“Don’t order me around.”

“I will order you. This isn’t your house.”

Miyagi only gets to give orders in her own home. She pays five thousand yen to buy the right to order me around. That rule doesn’t apply at school.

“I was done with my business, so I asked you to leave. I didn’t kick you out.”

Miyagi says this with resignation, trying to shake off my hand with a “That’s enough, right?” but I’m not letting go.

“You call that being done with your business?”

“I told you to close your eyes, and you did. That was the end of the order. There was nothing else to do.”

“Was that really the end of the order?”

“I’m telling you, that was it.”

“But you were about to do something more, weren’t you? Was that okay to just stop?”

I’m not exactly an honest person by nature, but being around Miyagi makes that even more apparent. Even now, I’m the one who pushed her to do something, yet I’m trying to pry an answer out of her. But things don’t go so smoothly.

“It’s just your imagination, Sendai-san.”

Miyagi gives up on answering and shakes off my hand. She turns her back, about to leave the prep room, and a surge of frustration wells up in my chest.

“Oh, right. Miyagi, are you studying for the test?”

I call out on a whim, and she turns around with a suspicious look.

“What’s that out of nowhere?”

“I’m not studying. I can’t focus because of you. Take responsibility.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Do you have your phone right now?”

“Do I need to answer that?”

“I’m asking if you have it or not.”

“…I left it in the classroom.”

“Call me today. You have to.”

I don’t send messages. That’s Miyagi’s job, and today’s the day. I’m not in a good enough mood to coddle her.

“What if I say no?”

Miyagi says, looking irritated. It feels like her mind is already drifting back to the classroom, and it’s making me feel worse.

“Call me, no matter what. Oh, and I’m giving you back your eraser.”

I step closer, look into her eyes, and grab her wrist, forcing the eraser into her hand. The eraser drops to the floor as Miyagi tries to pull away, but I grab it and place it in her hand.

“I don’t want it. You can keep it.”

“Then I’ll take it at your place.”

I step out of the music prep room, leaving Miyagi behind. When I get back to the classroom, there’s no time to eat lunch, so I start preparing for the next class. To distract my empty stomach, I pop a piece of candy into my mouth. After enduring the teacher’s long lecture and finishing class, I find a message from Miyagi on my phone.

✧✧✧✧

I didn’t rush to get here. Still, I arrived faster than usual. Taking a deep breath, I open the apartment door, and Miyagi’s waiting for me, trying to hand me five thousand yen before I can even close it.

“I don’t need it. I’m the one who made you call me.”

Normally, I’d take it.

That’s the rule, and it’s become second nature. But today, I push the five-thousand-yen bill back and take off my shoes. I try to head to Miyagi’s room, but she’s standing in my way like a gatekeeper, blocking the hallway.

“I didn’t call you because you told me to. I called you because I wanted to, so I’m paying.”

Even after getting home, Miyagi’s still in a bad mood, saying this with a bored expression.

“Got any orders for me?”

“…Yeah.”

Miyagi mutters and holds out the five-thousand-yen bill again. It’s painfully obvious she has no plan. Her voice and face don’t suggest she has any orders in mind, but I don’t want to get into an argument and risk being kicked out again.

“Fine.”

I take the money, put it in my wallet, and Miyagi heads to the kitchen, saying, “I’ll get some tea.” I don’t wait for her, entering her room and setting my bag down. I loosen my tie, undo the second button of my blouse, and sit on the floor with the bed as a backrest.

I’ve been to Miyagi’s place plenty of times, but today I’m restless. I’m not in the mood to read manga, and lying on the bed to wait feels wrong.

I’m as unplanned as she is.

I came here fired up, determined not to let Miyagi erase everything that’s happened in this room—our relationship—like it’s nothing, but I still can’t find the words I need to say. It hasn’t even been a year since we started talking, but today feels like the most awkward day yet, where I don’t know what to say.

I let out a long, thin sigh as Miyagi enters with a tray holding two glasses and, unusually, a small plate.

“Eat this,” she says curtly, placing the plate on the table.

“Castella?”

That’s rare. It’s been a while since I’ve even seen castella, but it’s unusual for food to show up in this room. All Miyagi ever offers here is soda or barley tea.

“You didn’t eat lunch today, right? It’s your own fault, but still.”

“Wow, you’re being nice today.”

“It’s just leftovers. I didn’t want to throw it out. …If you’re not eating it, I’ll put it away.”

Miyagi says this and sits on the bed without touching the castella.

“I’ll eat. Thanks.”

I’m not sure if it’s meant to be eaten with a fork, but there’s a silver one next to the castella. I use it to bring a piece of the elegant, egg-colored pastry to my mouth. The first bite is fluffy and sweet. The sugar crystals at the bottom crunch deliciously, so I take another bite. I finish the slice entirely and drink some barley tea.

Truthfully, like Miyagi said, I missed lunch. I turned down Umina’s invitation after school and came straight here without eating anything substantial. But I think it’s the same for Miyagi.

“You’re not eating?”

“I already ate.”

Miyagi says something I’m not sure is true, swinging her legs in boredom. It looks like she’s restless or just has nothing to do. Knowing it’s bad manners, I lightly poke her swinging foot with the fork.

“Ow!”

Her legs stop, and she glares at me resentfully.

“Want me to lick it better?”

“No need to lick it. I decide what orders to give.”

Wary of me, Miyagi pulls her legs onto the bed and hugs her knees.

“Don’t talk to me at school anymore, Sendai-san.”

“Is that an order?”

Miyagi doesn’t answer. She silently looks away from me. I move closer and tug at the hem of her skirt. She immediately brushes my hand away, and I hear her slightly low voice.

“I had a rough time today because of you.”

Leaving it unclear whether that’s an order, she continues, “You showed up at my classroom, so Maika and the others kept asking questions. Even after I got back, they were all curious about what you wanted, and it was a hassle.”

“What’d you tell them?”

“I said you asked to borrow money.”

“…Seriously?”

“Kidding. I told them a teacher called me to the staff room, and I went there. …They believed it, though.”

Well, yeah.

It’d be weirder if people didn’t get curious when someone you’ve never interacted with shows up and drags you off somewhere.

“It’s a pain, so don’t call me out like that again.”

With that, Miyagi gets off the bed and sits a bit farther away.

“Feeling a bit distant?”

“You’re the one doing weird stuff, Sendai-san.”

“I’m not. You’re the one who always does weird things.”

I correct her unfair accusation.

Weird things only happen if there’s an order. If Miyagi doesn’t say anything strange, it’s fine, so blaming me is wrong. But she doesn’t seem to agree.

“I don’t want to hear that from you. You were trying to lift my skirt earlier.”

“I just tugged it. All you do is deny everything.”

“You make me want to deny things because you keep saying stuff like that. Anyway, what’s with you today? You’re different. You’re talking too much.”

It’s true—I’m being more talkative.

Even though I’m in a room that’s usually comfortable, today it doesn’t feel right, and I keep talking to cover it up. It’s like when I wasn’t used to this room, and I feel the urge to keep talking to avoid silence.

But I’m not the only one.

“That’s my line. You’re the one talking a lot today.”

It’s rare for Miyagi to report what happened at school without me asking. Normally, she wouldn’t offer snacks or act considerate like this.

Today is different.

That phrase fits perfectly.

“I’m not talking that much.”

Miyagi says this sulkily, grabbing her bag. She pulls something out.

“You came for this, right? Like I said at school, you can have it.”

Her voice is irritated as she speaks. In her outstretched hand is the eraser I returned at school.

She’s always saying “you can have it” about everything. The five thousand yen at the bookstore, the clothes to replace the uniform soaked with soda, the eraser I gave back at school—she hands things over so easily, as if she has no attachment to them. My desire to return things doesn’t matter. I know that’s just how Miyagi is, but even knowing that, there are things I can’t accept.

I don’t take the eraser. Instead, I grab her wrist. She looks surprised, but I touch the finger holding the eraser with my lips and lick it. The slightly cold finger tastes neither of blood nor potato chips. When I press my tongue harder, the eraser falls to the floor. Miyagi moves her hand, briefly brushing my cheek before pulling away.

“Stop that.”

My hand, which was gripping her wrist, is shaken off, and Miyagi presses against my forehead.

“You’re not giving orders fast enough.”

“If I ordered you to go home, would you?”

“If that’s the order.”

The rule is absolute, and I follow it. But Miyagi wouldn’t give such an order. If she really wanted me to leave, she wouldn’t bring up hypotheticals—she’d have kicked me out like last time.

“…You’re unfair, Sendai-san,” Miyagi mumbles under her breath.

“If you think I’m unfair, just say what you really want me to do.”

“There’s nothing I absolutely want you to do.”

“If there’s nothing to do, take back the five thousand yen.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Then give me an order. That’s our deal.”

We’re different, yet somehow similar.

I don’t like the term “school caste,” but if we’re sorting by that, I’d be near the top. Looking closer, maybe closer to the lower end of the top. Miyagi doesn’t seem like she’s at the bottom, but she’s not at the top either.

I maneuver to avoid falling from the top, while Miyagi holds her ground to avoid slipping lower. In that sense, we’re both stuck in this half-hearted middle ground. And we’re both looking for someone convenient. I found a place to feel at ease outside my home through Miyagi, and she got someone who’ll do anything she says—in me.

It’s not strange that we’d be intrigued by someone like that. I clench my fist tightly. This isn’t exactly an honest way of thinking. The answer’s already clear. I can come up with all sorts of justifications, but simply put, I want to kiss Miyagi and see what happens.

Right here, right now.

“You know what order to give, don’t you?”

I move just a little closer to her. The distance shrinks with my movement, and she doesn’t pull away. She won’t meet my gaze, but she doesn’t run from me either.

“…You do it, Sendai-san.”

Without looking at me, she says something different from last time.

“Do what?”

“…Kiss me.”

The decision of what comes next is handed to me. But with no right to refuse, I only have one answer. I lean toward Miyagi, running my fingers through her hair. Her black hair, just past her shoulders, is smooth and silky.

I place my hand on her cheek and slowly bring my face closer. Miyagi, usually as defiant as a stray cat, stays seated quietly. Her gaze, which had avoided mine, finally meets it and holds. That means her eyes stay open.

“Close your eyes.”

“You’re so loud, Sendai-san. I’ll close them when I want to, so be quiet.”

You could say there’s no need for a romantic mood between us since we’re not lovers, but this is just too unromantic. It’s hard to believe we’re about to kiss. Still, it’s very Miyagi.

With no other choice, I let her decide when to close her eyes and move closer. It’s awkward, but I get pretty close, and just as I think that, Miyagi closes her eyes, as if escaping mine.

That part of her is kind of cute. I want to keep looking, but I close my eyes too. And then, my lips touch hers.

My heartbeat isn’t racing too much.

I’m nervous, though.

The sensation from her lips feels oddly vivid.

Soft and warm.

I’m not sure if she’s holding her breath or not, but I feel Miyagi’s presence so closely.

I pull away.

It didn’t taste sweet or sour. Not like castella.

It didn’t taste like anything.

To begin with, a kiss with enough intensity to have a taste would be too much.

I look at Miyagi, but she won’t meet my eyes.

I want to do it again.

I want to feel her even more than I did just now.

I grab her shoulders and lean in again, but she pushes me back.

“You’re going to do it again?”

“You’re the one who told me to do it.”

“I didn’t say to do it twice.”

“Stingy Miyagi.”

I complain and run my hand along her neck.

Her body heat feels warmer than usual.

“Order me one more time.”

Miyagi makes an obviously displeased face at my words but, after a brief pause, says quietly,

“…Do it again.”

I lean in at her words, and the distance between us closes easily. The space between us disappears, and we kiss for the second time.

I didn’t notice the first time, but it feels good.

Her soft lips, the sense of Miyagi’s presence, the slight contact—it all feels good.

My body tilts toward her. Heat flows from the places we touch, and as if a switch has been flipped, my body moves, my tongue brushing against her lips.

It feels hotter than before.

Both me and Miyagi.

The heat from our bodies mixes, blurring the boundaries between us more than when I touched her with my fingers.

Miyagi’s lips part slightly, and I hear her breath. A faint, hoarse sound mixes in, stirring something deep in my ears. Her hands grip my vest. More, more.

I want to touch her more.

I try to slip my tongue past her slightly parted lips, but she resists. When I bite her lip in protest, she pushes me away hard.

“I didn’t say you could go that far.”

“A kiss is a kiss, isn’t it?”

“Anyway, you don’t need to do it anymore.”

Miyagi says sharply, moving a little farther away. Without meeting my gaze, she continues,

“What now?”

She throws a tissue box with an alligator cover at me. I catch the alligator sprouting tissues and place it on the floor.

“What do you mean, what now?”

“This is awkward, isn’t it?”

Well, yeah.

Miyagi isn’t my lover, and to borrow her words, not even my friend. Kissing someone like that is bound to be awkward. But nothing should change. I don’t think a kiss would alter Miyagi’s attitude.

She’ll probably keep throwing sharp, prickly words at me and won’t suddenly become kinder. If she started acting overly friendly, that’d feel even weirder. Something might change, but until it does, I won’t know, so I’ll just let things happen as they will.

“You’re smart but kind of an idiot, aren’t you, Sendai-san?” Miyagi says with a sigh.

“I’ll admit to being an idiot, but I’m not that smart.”

If I were smart, I’d have lived up to my parents’ expectations. I’d probably be at a different high school and never would’ve met Miyagi.

“It’s only awkward at first,” I say irresponsibly, flopping onto the bed. Miyagi’s fine as she is, and I’m fine with things staying the way they’ve been.

“Keep calling me over.”

“I’ll call you without you telling me to. Don’t order me.”

Miyagi stands up with an annoyed expression, grabs a manga, and takes a sip of soda. Kissing her made me realize that I like Miyagi enough to barge into her house, call her out at school, and make her give me orders.

I like her more than I expected.

Not that I plan to tell her that.