Volume 2 Episode 09

 I don’t have any particular reason to be here. No place I need to go, no place I want to go, but it’s the last Sunday of summer break, so Maika invited me out. We wander through shops, bickering about this and that, and end up at the café we’ve visited countless times since starting high school, chatting about nothing important.

It’s a Sunday with nothing noteworthy about it.

Across from me, Maika noisily cuts her pancakes, and I feel relieved that this summer break isn’t much different from last year’s. When I’m alone, my thoughts drift to Sendai-san, so I’m grateful Maika dragged me out.

“Ugh, summer break ends tomorrow, huh? Shiori, you finished your homework, right?”

Maika sighs, stuffing a piece of pancake into her mouth.

“Done.”

“Did you turn over a new leaf as a third-year or something? Last year, you were scrambling with homework until the last minute, weren’t you?”

“I’m a third-year now, so I figured I’d be a bit more serious.”

Because Sendai-san comes over three times a week.

I can’t say that, so I offer a vague excuse and drizzle maple syrup over my French toast.

When I take a bite, the surface is crispy, but the inside is soft and fluffy, almost like pudding. As I swallow, the not-too-sweet maple syrup lingers in my mouth.

“Now that you mention it, this is the first time I’ve seen you order French toast, Shiori. If you start doing rare things like this, the world might end.”

“Way too dramatic. Homework can get done early sometimes, and anyone would eat French toast, right?”

“Sure, but didn’t you say you didn’t really like it before?”

“I realized it’s delicious.”

I’d never tried it before and assumed I wouldn’t like it, but French toast turned out to be exactly my kind of food.

I don’t want to admit it’s thanks to Sendai-san, but it’s become something I’m okay ordering at a café. Still, as I look at the golden-brown bread on my plate, memories tied to French toast flood back. I stab my fork into the toasted bread.

Bread soaked in egg and Sendai-san’s lips.

Which was softer? A pointless thought creeps into my mind. The French toast, which should be sweet, somehow feels tinged with the taste of blood.

Her lips, when I bit them, were soft, and they bled more than I expected.

The red liquid was slick when I touched it with my fingers, and when I pressed hard on the wound, Sendai-san glared at me.

The memories tied to French toast are so vivid that it almost feels like Sendai-san is right here.

“Maybe I should’ve gotten pancakes instead.”

I glance at the plate across from me while taking another bite of French toast.

“Wanna trade halves? I kinda want to try the French toast too.”

“Sure.”

Nodding at Maika’s suggestion, we swap our French toast and pancakes. She offers me her apple tea with a “Want a sip?” but I decline for now and take a bite of the pancakes, which, despite being fluffy like the French toast, have a different texture and flavor. “Oh, by the way, wanna hang out tomorrow too? It’s the last day of our final high school summer break, so let’s do something.”

Maika says this as if it just occurred to her, popping a piece of French toast into her mouth.

“I’ve got plans.”

“Ami was going on about a date too. Is everyone ditching me or what?”

“If you’re going to say that, weren’t you at cram school most of this summer, Maika? Way less available than last year.”

“That’s not my fault! But, like, what were *you* up to, Shiori? You seemed super busy this year.”

“Not busy, just… some stuff going on at home.”

Most of that “stuff” is Sendai-san, so I really don’t want her to press further. But Maika looks at me, prompting with a “Stuff?”

“Stuff is stuff.”

“Suspicious. You haven’t said a word about your summer break this year.”

“Not suspicious at all.”

I dodge the question by taking another bite of pancake.

When I try to recall memories of someone being by my side during long breaks like summer or winter, I have to dig deep. That’s how few memories I have of anyone being around.

But this year, I spent about half my summer break with Sendai-san.

More than family, more than friends, she’s the one I spent the most time with. That said, most of that time was spent studying—nothing shady about it. Or so it was supposed to be.

Teacher and student.

We were supposed to stick to those roles and spend the summer that way, with no intention of doing anything that couldn’t be shared. But looking back, this summer turned out completely different.

Our relationship is unraveling quickly.

“Okay, but you’re hiding something, aren’t you?”

“Nothing to hide.”

As I tell Maika this, I recall covering Sendai-san’s eyes and restraining her wrists.

That’s probably the one thing from this summer I absolutely can’t tell anyone about.

A rule-breaking act.

It wasn’t supposed to be like that, but it ended up that way.

I only tied her up and blindfolded her, touched her because I wanted to, no ulterior motives. That’s what I tell myself. The towel was just to cover her eyes so I could do something I couldn’t otherwise, and the tie was to keep her from interfering. I touched her a little longer than usual, that’s all, but I know I might’ve gone too far.

Not that it’s an excuse, but the next time Sendai-san came over, we didn’t take a break.

“Ugh, I want another week of break.”

Maika’s despairing voice pulls me back, and I look at her.

“If you got another week, you’d just say you want another on the last day, wouldn’t you?”

“Obviously. Would you ask for, like, two weeks, Shiori?”

“Don’t need that much. I’m fine with it ending as is.”

“If Shiori doesn’t want it, I’ll take it.”

“Then it’s yours.”

“How generous… What do you want in return?”

“It’s not a trade. I just don’t need more summer break.”

“There’s gotta be a catch. You’re definitely going to ask for something later.”

Maika teases.

I really don’t need more summer break.

Tomorrow.

Once tomorrow’s over, school starts.

If summer break continued, I know I’d end up breaking a rule I shouldn’t. If that happened, things with Sendai-san would definitely go wrong.

One more time.

If that one time goes smoothly, that’s enough.

I’m not clever enough to cover up broken rules, so I should avoid breaking them.

“Summer break’s not getting extended, so what do we do for the rest of today?”

Maika asks, stabbing her fork into the French toast.

“Hm.”

Pushing Sendai-san out of my mind, I suggest a few things.

We do some of the things I suggested, and a few we didn’t, before parting ways. I head home, eat dinner, take a bath, and slip into bed. When I close my eyes, I drift off without realizing it, waking before my alarm. I didn’t sleep great, but I wasn’t sleepless either, so my head’s clear enough.

I wear the same kind of clothes as always and eat lunch at the usual time. While reading a new book, I wait for a message from Sendai-san. It arrives in less than an hour, and soon after, the intercom rings.

I don’t do anything different.

I let out a small breath and let Sendai-san in.

✧✧✧✧✧✧

“Too much.”

At the door, when I try to hand Sendai-san the last 5,000 yen of summer break, she complains.

“It’s not too much.”

“It’s just one time this week. I don’t need it.”

“You’re a tutor, even if it’s just once. Take it or go home.”

I say curtly, and Sendai-san stares at the 5,000-yen bill. “Thanks,” she says, tucking it into her wallet before coming inside. I grab a cider and barley tea from the kitchen and set them on the table as usual.

Nothing’s changed.

It’s the same as always.

Sitting next to Sendai-san, opening textbooks and workbooks on the table—it’s all the same. I’m not doing anything different.

Once today’s over, we won’t spend time together outside of after-school hours. That thought makes me feel a little lonely.

I look at Sendai-san.

Her hair’s in the way.

Today, she hasn’t braided or tied it up, so I can’t quite see what kind of face she’s making on the last day of summer break. All I can tell is that she’s seriously studying her textbook.

Boring.

Puzzled, I reached out, wanting to see Sendai’s face. But before my hand could brush away her hair, she turned to me with a suspicious look.

“Stop staring at me and do this properly.”

She poked my forehead with her pen.

The spot around my brow tingled, and I reflexively pushed her hand back, pen and all.

I had already paid her the five thousand yen.

But not for what I was about to do.

So I shouldn’t. I should stop here.

And yet, I touched Sendai.

Just a little. Just close enough that my face leaned toward hers.

Naturally, my lips moved closer too—but before they could touch, she tapped my forehead with her pen.

“Miyagi. Don’t you think it’s too early for a break?”

Her voice was calm and flat.

Her expression gave nothing away.

I wasn’t supposed to take a break.

I shouldn’t.

But I couldn’t say, “I won’t.”

“Miyagi. School starts tomorrow. Do some prep work.”

Sendai pointed at the textbook with her pen.

“…If it’s five thousand yen, I’ll give it to you later.”

The words slipped out before I realized.

I shouldn’t hand her money.

I shouldn’t kiss her.

Of course, not anything beyond that either.

And Sendai-san should refuse. She probably would.

If we thought about the future, then we had to end today as if nothing happened.

I lined up all the obvious truths to convince myself—yet there was still a part of me that wanted to deny them all.

“You think ‘later’ is allowed?”

With that, Sendai-san placed her pen on the table.

“If you want it now, I’ll give it now.”

My body obeyed my words and started to move.

But before I could stand, Sendai pulled me back by the arm.

“Later or now—it’s already too late.”

Too late? Why?

I was about to ask, but soft lips cut me off.

The kiss came at a timing I hadn’t even considered, and thump—my heartbeat echoed inside my head.

Why—?

The question rose and vanished before our lips parted.

“I didn’t order you to do that.”

That wasn’t what I had been going to say, but it came out anyway as I stared at her.

“I know.”

“Then don’t act on your own.”

“Was that an order?”

“An order.”

“Maybe so. But I haven’t gotten five thousand yen. Miyagi, you can’t order me yet.”

“I said I’ll pay—”

“I told you, it’s too late.”

Her voice cut mine off. Her fingers tightened around my arm, and it hurt. I wanted to complain, but she spoke first.

“Miyagi, you should think a little harder about what you’re doing.”

I had no time to wonder what she meant.

The space between us vanished, crushed by Sendai-san, and our lips collided. Pressed down hard, my body tilted. I hadn’t been pushed over, nor did I fall on my own, yet suddenly my back was against the floor.

“Don’t bite me.”

Above me, Sendai-san’s face was unusually serious.

I understood what she meant the moment her face drew closer again.

Her long hair brushed my neck, my cheek, tickling me before her lips touched.

I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. Before I could close my eyes, our lips pressed together. Something softer than lips brushed against me—it was her tongue. It parted my mouth and slipped inside.

Her tongue, unrestrained, moved within me.

It pressed against mine, firm but slippery, and the sensation spread straight to my brain.

It was unmistakable—part of Sendai’s body was inside me. Not unpleasant, not exactly pleasant either.

Normally, I would have bitten down without hesitation. But her earlier words restrained me, and I couldn’t.

When the kiss grew suffocating, I grabbed her clothes. Our lips broke apart.

“This… isn’t right.”

I pushed her shoulder lightly, whispering the words.

“I think so too.”

But she didn’t say, Then why didn’t you resist? Instead, she leaned in again. Her actions contradicted her words, and I raised my voice louder than before.

“Sendai-san!”

“Call me Hazuki, Shiori. In moments like this.”

“I won’t. And don’t call me that.”

“You really are stingy, Miyagi.”

She sighed, then naturally leaned in once more.

“…Are we continuing?”

Instead of saying no, I threw out something vague.

“Because you tried to do that just now.”

“That?”

I knew what she meant, but asked anyway.

“You tried to kiss me.”

Her fingertip brushed my lips.

There was a line we weren’t supposed to cross. It had once been clear—but over the summer it blurred, and now we were stepping across it.

“Miyagi.”

Her voice, so serious it might have made me laugh at any other time, called to me.

She didn’t say it outright. But I understood—this was what we were about to do.

Sendai’s face moved closer, and we kissed deeply again.

Our eyes almost met as our tongues entwined. The kiss, heavier than before, made me feel her shape more vividly. This time, it even felt… good.

Ten seconds, twenty—maybe a full minute?

I didn’t know.

When our lips finally parted, I kissed her back.

There was no five-thousand-yen barrier this time. No hesitation. It should have been strange, but instead it felt natural, as if kissing was the most ordinary thing.

I gripped her clothes.

Pressed harder against her lips before slowly pulling away. When I opened my eyes, her breathing was ragged, and so was mine.

Even when I tried, I couldn’t steady it. She must have been the same.

“My back hurts.”

I let go of her clothes and said it, as if to cover for my shallow breaths.

“Deal with it.”

Harsh, but true.

If we moved to the bed… our minds might change. We weren’t the kind of people to be doing this in the first place.

If we were going to turn back, it had to be now.

I could push her away, sit up, open my textbook. Pretend nothing happened.

The last day of summer break.

August 31st—a day that would stick in memory forever. Doing something like this now was dangerous.

It would be labeled, remembered like an anniversary.

I knew that.

But this relationship had begun from a string of coincidences and whims. So wasn’t it okay if this too was born from coincidence and whim? Probably. Maybe. Surely.

Sendai-san’s lips touched my neck.

Pressed, nipped lightly with teeth.

Her lips had been there before, but this felt different.

A shiver ran through me, half wanting to escape, half wanting more.

Her tongue traced over me, and all my focus funneled into that single spot. Moisture spread along my neck, unsettling me. Her lips slid lower, toward my collarbone, sometimes biting, sometimes sucking hard.

The room should have been cool with the air conditioner, but I felt hot.

Every touch was sharp, and I knew exactly where she was, what she was doing.

Her breath, her kisses made me let out sounds I’d never made before. I bit my lip in a hurry, not wanting her to hear.

She paused for an instant.

Our eyes met.

I expected her to say something, but she didn’t. She just pushed up my T-shirt.

Her warmth touched my bare skin at the side of my waist.

I wasn’t going to call her “Hazuki.” But I didn’t stop the hand sliding slowly upward.

So there really was such a thing as “mood.”

Kissing Sendai-san, that thought floated in me.

The hardness in her voice.

The way she breathed.

The fact that these kisses weren’t “orders.”

All these small differences piled up, telling me what we were doing now was special.

Her hand inside my shirt fit against me as though it belonged there.

Her fingers traced from my waist to my ribs, stroking gently beneath my chest.

I had no hesitation anymore—I slid my own hand into her blouse and touched her back directly.

“Miyagi, that tickles.”

Sendai looks at me with a face that, unusually, seems to lack her usual composure.

“It tickles for me too.”

We both know that beyond this ticklish sensation, beyond the shivery discomfort, there is something that feels good.

I run my fingers along her spine. When I stroke upward to about halfway up her back, a faint, hoarse sound escapes from Sendai, and my heart skips a beat.

“That… tickles.”

She says it as if to cover something up, placing her hand on my chest.

My underwear is still on.

And yet, it feels as though she’s touching me directly, and my face burns.

Small or large—

I’ve never cared about that before. But now, I find myself wondering what Sendai thinks.

Even so, when I look at her face, all I can see is a faint blush on her cheeks. I can’t tell what’s on her mind.

Her hand slips, sliding down toward my back.

When I lift my shoulder a little, her hand begins to reach around, but before it can touch the clasp of my bra, the intercom rings.

The sudden sound freezes both breath and movement.

Sendai doesn’t look at the intercom, but at me.

No words.

A pause—then the intercom rings again.

“...Does it bother you?”

Sendai asks.

“Not really. It’s probably just some solicitor or something.”

“Shouldn’t we check?”

“You can check if you want. Just look at the monitor—you’ll know if it’s a solicitor.”

If I tilt my head slightly, I could see the monitor and know exactly who’s ringing the bell. But just as she keeps her eyes on me, I keep mine on her.

“You won’t know unless you talk to them. I don’t mind either way.”

I immediately understand what she means.

Either we keep going, or we answer the intercom.

She’s leaving that choice to me.

The intercom, which normally wouldn’t ring more than once or twice, keeps sounding insistently.

Sendai says I’m always quick to run away, but the truth is, she runs away too—from choosing. She always forces the choice onto me.

There’s no need to even think.

If I stand up and answer the intercom, it’ll all be over. After talking to whoever’s on the other side, there’s no way we can just pick up where we left off.

“Miyagi.”

Her quiet voice reaches me, and I press against her shoulder.

“Sendai, you coward.”

I had wanted to see her face, to touch her a little longer, to be touched a little more. And as I realized such things would probably no longer happen this afternoon, I felt a small pang of regret.