Volume 4 Episode 08

Until the entrance exams are over, we won’t meet.

Miyagi, who had made that perfectly reasonable and proper suggestion, is now sprawled out and lazing around, everything finally finished. Both she and I have taken all the necessary exams. The results aren’t out yet, but we’ve done what we had to do, so it’s only natural to feel liberated. Still, because I immediately asked her how the exams went the moment we met, Miyagi’s mood has soured.

I knew as soon as I saw her that it was something she didn’t want to be asked about. Even so, I couldn’t stop myself.

As I thought, I shouldn’t have brought it.

From my usual spot, I glance at the bag containing the chocolate. I had hesitated until the last moment about whether to bring it after Miyagi called me over, but now it has completely missed its chance to be given and remains stuck in the bag.

Miyagi, lying on the bed, is in no mood that makes me want to give her chocolate. And since Valentine’s Day is still a little ways off, it feels even harder to hand it over. On top of that, I still don’t know how her exams went. I have no idea when this capricious Miyagi will call me next, so I thought I should give it to her while we could meet, but that might have been a mistake.

This year feels so different from last year that I find myself missing the time when I could hand over chocolate without overthinking it.

Not going to school anymore because it’s optional attendance has added unnecessary weight to the chocolate. Last year, I made Miyagi’s portion as an afterthought while making chocolates for Umina and others. But this year, it feels like I made it specifically for Miyagi.

I don’t have a rule about participating in seasonal events, but when you’re with friends, you end up joining in. So on Valentine’s Day, we exchange chocolates. Today is no different.

Last year, Miyagi said she doesn’t exchange chocolates with friends, but I planned to give her one anyway. That was my plan for Valentine’s Day, even if it’s a little early. But without the excuse of it being just part of the batch for friends, it’s harder to give. To begin with, since Miyagi isn’t a friend, the chocolate seems doomed never to see the light of day.

I stand up and walk to the bookshelf.

After stroking the black cat ornament placed in front of the manga and checking whether any new books have been added, I hear a voice from behind me.

“Sendai-san, here.”

When I turn around, Miyagi has somehow gotten off the bed and is standing while holding a box with a ribbon on it. The box isn’t that big.

“That is…”

I return to the table without taking any manga, and Miyagi thrusts the red box at me as if forcing it into my hands.

“I saw it while shopping, so I bought it.”

I sit down, staring at the box now in my hands.

No matter how I look at it, it has Valentine’s Day wrapping, and even the brand name is printed on it. No matter how I think about it, the contents are clearly chocolate. But Miyagi giving me chocolate is impossible.

“…Wasn’t it Dried Sardine Day?”

Last year, that’s what Miyagi called Valentine’s Day.

I remember it clearly. Thinking about that, it wouldn’t be strange if the box held dried sardines.

I look at Miyagi sitting next to me. She has her usual slightly displeased expression.

“Last year, you told me not to say things like unpopular guys do, Sendai-san. If you don’t want it, give it back.”

From her words, I become certain that the box contains chocolate.

“I’ll take it. Thank you. And… I have something too.”

I hurriedly open my bag and pull out the box with my chocolates inside. Now is the only chance to give it.

“Here, it’s a little early, but this is for you, Miyagi. It’s homemade.”

I hand her the box wrapped in light pink paper. It’s far from a smooth or elegant way of giving it, but I don’t have the composure to act cool.

“Even though you aren’t going to school, you still went out of your way to make some for Ibaraki-san and others too?”

Because I phrased it as if I had made chocolates for others as well, Miyagi looks at me suspiciously, as though inventing a fact that never happened.

“Um, yeah. You can open it. Can I open mine too?”

I end up telling a pointless lie.

For some reason, it’s hard to admit that I didn’t make it as an afterthought, but only for Miyagi.

“Do whatever you want.”

Miyagi responds curtly and begins peeling the wrapping paper from the box I gave her. I also carefully peel off the wrapping from mine. When I open it, there are six chocolates inside.

The same number as the ones I gave her last year.

I don’t think Miyagi remembered that and matched the number. It’s probably just coincidence, but for someone like Miyagi, who doesn’t return gifts on White Day, receiving the same number as last year feels like something to be happy about.

I wish she had given it to me in a slightly better mood, but if that happened, the world would probably end tomorrow.

“That’s right. Should I feed you like last year?”

I point at the chocolate I gave Miyagi.

The chocolates are the same truffles as last year, and the number is the same too. I considered making something different, but making something elaborate felt too showy, so I didn’t.

“No, I’ll eat it myself.”

Miyagi picks up a white chocolate dusted with powdered sugar. She eats the small, easy-to-eat piece in one bite. Her expression doesn’t change.

She doesn’t say whether it’s good or not, so I can’t tell if she likes it.

Her fingertips twitch as if hesitating to take another piece, then she pulls a tissue from the crocodile-shaped holder’s back.

“Is it good?”

When I ask Miyagi, who is wiping her fingertips, a small “yeah” comes back.

“…Thanks.”

She said thank you last year too, but it still puts me at ease. I want her to say it’s delicious rather than not, and hearing “thanks” makes me happy. Strictly speaking, it was only “yeah” and not “delicious,” but I don’t expect direct praise from Miyagi.

“Aren’t you going to eat, Sendai-san?”

“I will.”

“Then, lend me that.”

Miyagi points at the chocolates in front of me.

“An order?”

“An order.”

“It doesn’t mean give it back, right?”

I’m pretty sure it doesn’t, but I ask just in case.

“I’m not saying that.”

Relieved at her answer, I obediently hand over the whole box.

“Open your mouth.”

Miyagi picks up a square chocolate and speaks.

“…Is something going on?”

I instinctively lean back.

She’s probably trying to feed me.

But that in itself is strange.

There’s no way she would feed me normally.

Miyagi feeding me something. It has happened before, but I only remember it ending badly. The fact that she prepared chocolate for me at all is already unbelievable, so her feeding me chocolate normally is even more so.

Since she’s ordering me to let her feed me, there must be something behind it. Miyagi wouldn’t do something like this without a catch. That wouldn’t be Miyagi.

“If you’re fine eating it yourself, that’s okay.”

She says bluntly and tries to put the chocolate back in the box. I quickly grab her hand.

“Sorry. Feed me.”

I’m curious about what kind of “extra” she has planned, but no matter how unpleasant the consequences of an order are, I always accept them in the end, so worrying is pointless.

“Then, mouth.”

She omits the “open,” but I obediently open mine, and the square chocolate approaches. Immediately, the chocolate is pushed into my mouth along with her finger. My tongue touches Miyagi’s fingertip. Maybe the chocolate melted from her body heat, because her fingertip tastes sweet. When I bite the chocolate, my teeth brush against her finger, and Miyagi quickly pulls her hand away.

Only the chocolate remains in my mouth.

It’s not too sweet. Not bitter either.

I look at Miyagi.

She doesn’t seem like she’s planning anything strange, nor does she reach for another chocolate. It seems the order came with no hidden extras after all.

“Is it good?”

Miyagi asks the same question I asked her and wipes her finger with a tissue.

“Want to taste?”

The chocolate was delicious.

But I don’t feel like putting it into words.

“It’s something I gave to you, Sendai-san, so no need.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

I grab Miyagi’s arm. When I lightly pull her, a crease forms between Miyagi's eyebrows. But she says nothing. So I pull her toward me as she is and press my lips to hers.

The last time we kissed was the day of the second "good-luck charm."

We have not met at all since then.

The fact that she let me kiss her so easily might be because so much time has passed.

I pry open her firmly closed lips with my tongue.

Miyagi grabs my arm, but she does not resist. She is not exactly enthusiastic, yet she allows me inside her mouth. Normally she would scold me, saying this is not just tasting, but today's Miyagi is being remarkably gentle. It makes me a little uneasy, yet I have no desire to pull away, and I touch her tongue.

Even when I poke the tip of her tongue with mine, she shows no reaction. When I press and entwine them, strength returns to the hand gripping my arm. Miyagi's body heat reaches me from her slick tongue.

It is hotter than her hand, and my heartbeat quickens. Kisses with Miyagi are always sweet.

I do not know whether it is because of the chocolate she gave me or the chocolate I gave her, but it is sweet. Maybe the chocolate has nothing to do with it, yet it is simply, intensely sweet, and I want to touch Miyagi even more deeply.

I kiss her as if biting.

Hot, sweet, suffocating.

I cannot breathe properly and pull my lips away.

If anything, it felt like I was the one tasting Miyagi, so I have the feeling she will get angry after all.

"I cannot even tell the taste, right?"

Miyagi pushes my shoulder and creates distance.

"Then we just have to keep going until you can tell."

"It is faster if I eat it myself."

She does not seem angry, but she speaks in a low voice and reaches for the box that should now belong to me. Before she can pick up a chocolate, I grab Miyagi's wrist and pull.

"Sendai-san!"

Her voice sounds displeased, but she does not say stop. So without reservation, I kiss her again. This time her lips are slightly parted, and I can slip my tongue in easily.

As I thought, it is sweet.

I do not know what kind of sweetness it is, but Miyagi is simply sweet, and I want more, so I push my tongue deeper inside her.

Miyagi's hand grabs my shoulder.

Her fingertips dig in, and it hurts.

I am bothered that Miyagi, who normally would push me away, is not doing so, and I separate our bodies.

"You are not getting angry today?"

When I ask, Miyagi furrows her brow again.

"If you know I will get angry, then do not do it."

She vents her dissatisfaction. But Miyagi does not actually get angry.

✧✧✧✧✧

Tomorrow, the world is ending.

If that news came on, I would believe it without a shred of doubt. That is how strange Miyagi has been acting.

After we exchanged chocolates, she called me several times, but she never got angry and never gave any strange orders. She was not exactly cheerful, but she talked a lot and even let me kiss her. There is no way a Miyagi like this should exist.

Lying in my own room, which feels less comfortable than Miyagi's, I stare at the ceiling.

But when I think about it, not getting angry and talking a lot are normal human behaviors. Even with someone you barely know, you usually interact calmly, so the current Miyagi is simply behaving like a proper person. The Miyagi I have been seeing lately is probably the same Miyagi who is with Utsunomiya and the others.

Perhaps I am the strange one for feeling uneasy when I see that side of her. Leaning against the bed, I look at the piggy bank on the chest of drawers.

The five-thousand-yen bills stuffed inside it. I do not know how many are in there, but for a moment I think, if only that did not exist. If there had been no exchange of five thousand yen, I would not have gotten close to Miyagi or thought about her this way. I could have just thought about myself and waited for graduation.

It is troublesome.

Me, Miyagi, everything.

That I had fun talking with Miyagi, that it was nice she did not give strange orders.

I wish I could just be honestly happy without overthinking it. Right now, the kinder Miyagi is, the more it feels like the eventual outcome will be bad.

Looking back, I have no good memories of Miyagi when she acts differently from usual.

That is why I end up doubting her actions and feeling as if there is something behind everything she does.

If I were Utsunomiya, I could probably accept the current Miyagi without suspicion. Seeing a Miyagi who talks a lot without getting displeased, I think I could be happy believing she might pretend our promise with graduation as the cutoff never existed.

But I cannot do that.

I do not think Miyagi hates me.

If she hated me, she would not let me kiss her or touch her body. But it feels like Miyagi accepts me and also does not accept me. I do not know what she intends, but the Miyagi pretending to be kind seems like the type who might give an answer different from what I strongly hope for, such as withdrawing the promise.

For that matter, even though the exam results are out, Miyagi has not contacted me at all.

I already told Miyagi that I passed.

I even received a "congratulations" from her.

Yet despite promising to tell me her result, Miyagi has not contacted me. It is not as if there is no way to find out whether she passed, but since I am waiting patiently, she should tell me quickly.

Passed.

Failed.

I think even a short message like that would be fine; she should send it.

"Hurry up and contact me already."

I add "idiot" in my mind and stand up.

I jump onto the bed and close my eyes.

It is just past nine, so it is too early to sleep.

I have not even taken a bath.

I let out a sigh, and my phone rings beside my ear. I check the screen.

"...Miyagi."

It feels like she is bugging my room with how perfectly timed the call is, and I involuntarily sit up.

"It is not that she failed the university or anything, right?"

I breathe in deeply, then breathe out.

I feel guilty for immediately assuming the worst, but since she never clearly told me how the exam went, it cannot be helped.

"Hello."

When I call out to the other side of the phone in a voice that is neither bright nor dark, instead of the ringing tone whose count I lost, Miyagi's voice comes through.

"I passed."

"Eh?"

"I passed the same university as Maika. Report over."

"Eh, ah, you passed. Then..."

Despite making me wait forever, the report is curt, and the things I wanted to say do not come out smoothly. Is she going to the same university as Utsunomiya, or not?

We did not promise she would tell me, but I want to know. But before I can voice the words to ask which she will choose, Miyagi starts talking.

"Also, there is a movie I want to see."

"A movie?"

A completely unrelated topic to university is suddenly thrown at me, and the words I should say are replaced with something else. By the time I realize I even forgot to say congratulations, I can already hear Miyagi's "yeah."

My feelings cannot keep up with the topic that changed direction at a speed I did not expect. Miyagi is silent, and despite passing the university, she does not sound particularly happy. Because of that, I still cannot say the congratulations I forgot.

This is just how Miyagi is.

She says whatever she wants without considering others, then goes quiet.

And I, who get swayed by her emotions yet cannot help caring about her, think it is a losing role, but I cannot throw it away. Even now, I am thinking about how to respond to Miyagi.

"That is all."

Miyagi says curtly.

But I know that is not all. Probably, the continuation is something I have to say.

"Could it be you are inviting me to the movie?"

"If you do not want to be invited, that is fine."

"So, when are we going?"

Miyagi mentions a date in a voice that doesn’t sound particularly excited, though it feels like she had already decided on it beforehand.

Bad timing, I think.

“I want to go, but I have plans that day. Can’t we do it a little before or after?”

Miyagi lets out a “hmm” on the other side of the phone.

Somehow the discussion about a university report has turned into talk about going to the movies, but if I try to bring the conversation back, it’s obvious the movie topic will simply be treated as if it never existed. In that case, the movie clearly has higher priority.

University matters would be better discussed face-to-face.

If I rush and ask now, I might hear something unpleasant, and that would be troublesome.

“Then earlier is better. Tomorrow?”

When I say okay, Miyagi specifies the meeting time and place. It’s the same time and place we met last summer when we went to the movies, and my chest starts to feel restless.

The fact that Miyagi is the one suggesting we go see a movie, and that she deliberately chose the exact same time and place as in summer, feels nothing but strange. I feel uneasy and am about to ask why when Miyagi says, “Sendai-san.”

“What?”

“What plans?”

“I decided on a university, so I’m going to look at apartments.”

I’ll be living alone there. It was already decided that I would do that if I got into the university I wanted, so I’m going to look for a place.

There was the option of going during spring break, but I heard at cram school that the earlier the better when looking for a room.

“What about you, Miyagi?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you’re going to that university, don’t you have to look for a place too?”

I bring up the university topic as if it’s just an afterthought. This much should be safe to ask.

“I might stay here.”

“Then if you do go…”

“...I’ll live in the dorm.”

“You can’t live with other people, can you?”

“My dad is busy and doesn’t have time to go look at apartments with me. If the dorm doesn’t work out, I’ll think about it then.”

Miyagi speaks as if it’s already decided. From the way she answers without hesitation, I can tell her mind is pretty much made up. She’ll probably go to the same university as Utsunomiya and actually live in the dorm. But if I push too hard, she’ll definitely say she absolutely won’t go.

“You really are half-assed about everything. That’s fine, though. So, what movie are we watching?”

“What does Sendai-san want to watch?”

“You’re the one who said there was a movie you wanted to see, Miyagi.”

At least this I want to press her on.

Her words don’t match what she said earlier.

“I was just asking for the record. Don’t forget tomorrow. Good night.”

After a curt voice, the call ends without waiting for my reply.

She says only what she wants and hangs up.

As expected, Miyagi is still Miyagi.

It’s true her behavior has been strange lately, and today was strange too.

But the selfish part of her is exactly the same as always.

An unpleasant premonition from this Miyagi, who is full of inconsistencies, mixes with a good premonition from the voice that said she’ll live in the dorm.

I place my phone by the pillow.

I close my eyes and think about tomorrow.

After the movie.

I will ask her what she plans to do about university.

And what will happen to us after graduation.

I don’t know if she’ll give the answer I hope for, and I’m not confident, but I have to ask.

I open my eyes and let out a big breath.

I haven’t decided what to wear tomorrow.

I try combining the clothes I own in my head.

When I went to the movies with Miyagi in the summer, I agonized over what to wear.

This time looks like it won’t be decided easily either.

I wonder if Miyagi is agonizing over it.

I let out another big breath.

✧✧✧✧✧

The film, including the end credits, is about two hours. We watch until the very end, then Miyagi and I stand up. I straighten my skirt and start walking.

If it were with Umina or Mariko, they would stand up the moment the main feature ends, treating the credits as a bonus. When I go to the movies with them, I end up doing the same, so I don’t really want to go with them.

But Miyagi stays seated until the lights come up. She did the same when we went in the summer. Our personalities and hobbies are completely different, but we match in this kind of thing.

Even though there are more things I have in common with Umina and Mariko than with Miyagi, I find it strange that being with Miyagi is more fun, when finding similarities between me and her is so difficult.

“Was it good?”

I am asked as we leave the cinema.

“What about you, Miyagi?”

“It was good.”

“Me too. I don’t usually watch action movies that much, but this kind was nice.”

Miyagi was the one who first said there was a movie she wanted to see, but even today she never said what it was. So we ended up vaguely watching a popular action movie. There was the option of horror, but I excluded it because Miyagi doesn’t like it—I want her to praise me for that.

“Want to get something to eat?”

I match my pace to Miyagi’s and speak to the person beside me. Today’s objective was the movie; nothing else was decided.

But I have something to talk to Miyagi about. I don’t particularly want to eat anything, but I want to go somewhere we can sit and talk.

If I say I have something to discuss, she might run away, but I’ve decided to talk.

“Going home.”

“Eh? Already?”

I look at Miyagi.

Today she doesn’t look dressed for just watching a movie and going straight home.

To put it plainly, she’s unusually dressed up. No makeup, but she’s wearing a skirt with a cute pattern and a coat I’ve never seen before.

It’s different from the casual outfit she wore when we watched a movie in the summer.

So I thought she would at least stop somewhere after the movie. It’s selfish of me to think the plan is different, but I’ll be in trouble if she goes home like this.

“I don’t have anywhere else I want to go. Do you still have time, Sendai-san?”

“I do.”

“Then come to my place.”

Saying that, Miyagi grabs my hand and starts walking. It’s clearly a different way of holding than usual—the grip is weak. It’s not forceful but soft, which simply means we are holding hands and walking.

This is unthinkable from the Miyagi until now.

Yes, absolutely impossible.

The hand she connected so naturally feels extremely unnatural, and I end up staring at Miyagi’s face.

“What?”

A flat voice comes from beside me.

The people passing by don’t care that we’re holding hands. I wouldn’t notice either if strangers were holding hands, so that’s normal. Other people’s eyes don’t bother me, but what Miyagi is thinking does.

“Miyagi, this hand?”

I lightly squeeze the connected hand.

“Should I let go?”

“It’s fine like this, but what’s going on?”

“Graduation ceremony is soon anyway, and it doesn’t matter if someone sees us.”

Miyagi says something she would never normally say. It’s true graduation is close.

A few days after I settle on an apartment and return, it will be the graduation ceremony, and once we graduate, rules like only meeting after school or not talking at school will no longer apply. Breaking the rules a little early wouldn’t be a big deal, but that line is unlike Miyagi.

“That kind of line is supposed to be mine, isn’t it? You don’t usually say things like that, Miyagi.”

I’m also curious why she chose this place even though Umina saw us together when we went to the movies in summer, but more than that, her words bother me.

“Then I’ll let go.”

“Eh, wait—”

Miyagi tries to release her hand, and I grip it tightly so she can’t escape. The hand that would normally forcefully pull away immediately becomes docile.

“We’re going to your place, right?”

Even if I said no, today’s Miyagi doesn’t seem like she would listen. And as long as we can talk, the location doesn’t matter to me. So there’s only one answer: “Sure.”

Miyagi does not let go of my hand.

We walk, exchanging conversation that barely counts as conversation. We pass through the ticket gate and, just like in summer, board the train together. We pass several stations and get off.

February streets are still cold, but we walk leisurely. The shop windows waiting for spring are becoming more colorful, and the sky is bright. I am still holding hands with Miyagi. I passed the university entrance exam, I’m with someone I enjoy being with, and we watched a fun movie. It feels like a day where only good things lie ahead, yet my heart does not leap.

I wish a day like this had come before winter arrived.

If it had been last summer, for example, I think I would have felt happy enough to skip.

But now it is winter, far from summer.

We walk slowly down the road that leads to the room where we have spent so much time.

As we approach the apartment building, Miyagi lets go of my hand.

Her walking speed increases, and she walks a little ahead of me.

The skirt she is wearing, not a uniform, catches my eye.

I can clearly see the legs I have run my tongue over many times.

Come to think of it, lately she has not ordered me to lick her feet.

I cannot remember the last time we did something like that. I do not particularly want to lick her feet, but I think it would be better if she went back to being the Miyagi who gives those kinds of orders.

We pass through the entrance, take the elevator, and get off on the sixth floor.

We walk together to the front door, and Miyagi unlocks it.

She opens the door and steps inside.

Miyagi takes off her shoes first.

I take mine off too and follow her, but right in front of the room my bag is snatched away.

“Sendai-san.”

Miyagi drops the bag in the hallway as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

There is nothing inside that would break, but it still does not feel good. I reach to pick up the fallen bag, but before my hand touches it, Miyagi grabs my arm.

“Hey.”

I look up at her, and my arm is pulled.

Before I can complain, Miyagi’s face draws close and our lips meet.

We have kissed many times.

But it was almost never Miyagi who initiated it.

Except during summer vacation.

After we went to the movies together in the summer, Miyagi started kissing me on her own. It was only for a short period, and the five thousand yen never disappeared from between us, but I think our relationship changed just a little back then.

I do not dislike being kissed by Miyagi now, either.

Her lips are soft and feel good.

I pull Miyagi’s body closer.

The distance becomes shorter than before. Yet almost immediately, Miyagi pulls away from me.

“We’re in the hallway.”

I do not know what to say to this un-Miyagi-like Miyagi, so I say something boring.

“There’s no one here.”

Miyagi mutters.

I have never seen anyone else in this house.

It is natural that no one is here; I never thought anyone would be even without being told, so I am not worried about that. What worries me is that in a place that is not her room, she is doing something she has hardly done since summer vacation ended.

Today’s Miyagi feels like she is retracing that summer vacation.

“Why…”

There are many things I want to ask, but I stop myself. Miyagi’s hand gently touches my cheek.

Her fingertips stroke my lips, and she kisses me again. On those softly touching lips, bad news floats into my mind.

The world is going to end.

No, the world will not end, but our relationship might. I think this kiss is not one Miyagi wanted.

The one who wants to kiss and touch is me, not Miyagi. Today’s Miyagi is only doing the things I have wished for until now. I pull my face away on my own.

“I haven’t heard today’s order yet.”

I think I need to quickly bring her back to the usual Miyagi. Holding hands, kissing, everything can only feel like a ritual for ending things.

In the summer, going to the movies together just like today was to test whether we could become friends. That day, Miyagi chose not to become friends, and I accepted it.

Today is not exactly the same as that summer day, but there is no way Miyagi would repeat something so similar to that summer vacation for no reason.

“I haven’t given you five thousand yen.”

“Forget that and just give me an order.”

I want to separate summer vacation and today as quickly as possible.

“Then just stay still and be good.”

Miyagi gives a stupid order.

This is not what I wanted.

Miyagi is supposed to give unreasonable orders.

Like “lick my feet,” for example.

But she gives a boring order and, as if it is natural, brings her face close again. And she kisses me in a way that feels naturally unnatural.

Her lips have the same softness and warmth as when I kiss her. The sensation of our body heat mixing is always pleasant. If possible, I would like to keep kissing like this forever.

But we should not kiss today.

There must be a reason for today’s kiss, and I want to know what it is. I want her to deny the idea that it is a ritual for ending things.

I slowly push Miyagi’s shoulders.

“Hey, what’s been going on lately? Isn’t it weird?”

I pick up the bag that is still on the floor and look at her.

“You’re the one who always wants to kiss.”

“That’s true, but…”

“You don’t want to?”

“I do. I want to, but… what is this?”

“What do you mean?”

“…Tell me why you’re doing things that make me happy.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you happy.”

“Then what is it?”

There is no answer to my question. Miyagi falls silent, as if thinking about something. When the silence drags on, I feel like she is about to say something bad, so I decide to ask what I came here to ask today.

“If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine. But answer properly what I’m going to ask now.”

I have questions prepared.

But before I can ask them, Miyagi speaks first, as if cutting me off.

“University. I’m going to the same one as Maika.”

Her curt voice gives me the answer I wanted to hear.

“Then—”

The words I start to say are stolen by Miyagi.

To put it bluntly, she kisses me as if to seal my mouth.

Miyagi grips my arm hard, and the bag I just picked up falls again.

What will happen to the promise that ends at graduation?

The words I was supposed to say are swallowed by Miyagi. Something soft yet firm touches my lips. When it presses lightly and I part my lips, for once Miyagi slips her tongue in first. The tips touch, and more strength goes into the hand gripping my arm.

When I entwine my tongue with hers, even more strength goes into her hand.

I have thought that it would be nice if Miyagi were not always so contrary and were like this instead. But that was only a thought. The Miyagi I want to keep seeing even after university is not this Miyagi. I push away Miyagi’s body that is pressed perfectly against mine.

“You don’t have to force yourself.”

I want the usual Miyagi.

Talking about what happens after graduation has no meaning unless it is the usual Miyagi.

“I’m not forcing anything.”

Miyagi touches my neck.

Her fingertips slowly stroke my nape and grasp the pendant chain. Then she pulls the pendant out, dragging it along.

“After the graduation ceremony, I have something to talk about, so don’t forget to bring this and come here.”

Saying that, Miyagi yanks hard on the pendant top. It hurts.

Both the arm she was gripping earlier and my neck where the chain digs in hurt terribly.

“Go home for today.”

Saying that, Miyagi picks up my fallen bag.

“Here.”

She thrusts the bag at me forcefully.

“Miyagi, when are you calling me next?”

“Next is after the graduation ceremony. I won’t call you before that. So absolutely don’t forget to come.”

Miyagi says this emphatically and pulls my arm. My arm is pulled without any gentleness, and I am pushed out the front door as I am.

The door slams shut.

Miyagi, who usually sees me all the way down, does not see me off.

When things are like this, nothing good usually happens.

I knock once on the door that is rejecting me.

The door does not open, and I do not hear Miyagi’s voice.

I clench my fist hard.

But without knocking again, I turn and walk toward the elevator.