Volume 5 Episode 04

I pick up the black cat from the bookshelf and lie down on the bed. It feels like it should be time to sleep, yet I am not sleepy.

I stroke the black cat’s head.

Sendai-san, who had never broken a promise since we came here, broke one for the first time today. Because of that, I gained the right to give her an order. Strictly speaking, it is not exactly an order. It is the right to have her listen to one thing I say, a right I forced into existence. Since it relies on a rather generous interpretation of the rules, I cannot say it was obtained fairly.

I place the black cat on my chest.

There is a limit to how many times the penalty game can be used. Listening to the other person’s request is allowed only once.

Sendai-san will probably do whatever I ask, as long as it is not something truly awful. Until now, she has accepted and followed most of my orders. If I told her to lick my feet, she would probably do it, and if I told her to kiss me, I think she would.

But she will listen only once.

And for some reason, ever since we came here, Sendai-san has not broken the rules again. I do not know when I will get this right next. When I think about that, I hesitate over what I should make her do. Even though I seized this right, I cannot think of any penalty game I truly want her to carry out.

I recall the orders I gave when I was in high school.

They were not very good orders.

Now that we are roommates, things should not be the same as they were back then. We should not make them the same.

I think that is probably for the best.

I press the black cat flat against my chest and toward the wall. Its nose touches the wall, and I immediately pull it away.

A penalty game is just a game.

It is not something to think about so seriously.

I should treat it more casually, more carelessly.

I understand that, but because Sendai-san suddenly told me about a part-time job I did not know about, I cannot think about it lightly or without concern. I place the black cat beside the wall and turn off the light.

I curl my back and close my eyes.

I think it would have been better if she had told me earlier that she was planning to get a part-time job.

When I asked her about it afterward, Sendai-san said the job was tutoring and that she had not decided yet whether she would do it. Still, she has probably already made up her mind.

I do not want to sigh, but one escapes anyway.

If she starts tutoring, Sendai-san will teach someone else the way she taught me.

With that voice, at that distance, alone together.

I do not think she would do anything besides studying, but it is still unpleasant.

Since entering university, the parts of Sendai-san I do not know have increased. She does not talk much about university, so about half of who she is now feels unfamiliar to me. I think she would tell me most things if I asked, but even if I knew, I could not know them as vividly as I did in high school. Thinking that way makes me not want to ask. The thought that something new, like a part-time job that I cannot fully know about, will be added makes my head ache.

I pull the black cat into the futon.

Lately, I have finally been sleeping well, but it seems I might not tonight. So I count black cats. One, two, three. Instead of sheep, the black cat plush hops and jumps over a fence.

As I count, an image of Sendai-san working at her part-time job comes to mind.

If she starts tutoring, it feels like she will return to being the Sendai-san who kept breaking rules. If she breaks rules, I can give orders again under the name of penalty games. Even so, it is frustrating to be placed below her job in priority. It does not have to be the most important thing in her life, but I do not want our promise to be forgotten.

Something that would make Sendai-san unable to forget our promise. A penalty game might be good, if it could be something like that.

While counting cats as they jump over the fence, I think about it. I do not know what it would be. As I keep thinking, my head begins to feel hazy.

Before the cats pass three hundred and reach four hundred, I fall asleep without deciding what I want Sendai-san to do.

I wake up five minutes before the alarm rings.

I eat the breakfast Sendai-san prepared in the shared space. She says nothing about the penalty game.

She leaves the house after repeating the unwelcome news that she will be late today, which I already heard yesterday. I clean up the dishes, fix my clothes, and leave the house as well.

I hope her job does not get decided.

As the train sways, I wish for Sendai-san’s misfortune.

If we are roommates, I should probably say something like “I hope your job works out,” but I cannot bring myself to say it. Even though I was the one who told her to act like a roommate, I feel disappointed in myself for being unable to do the same.

Even after getting off the train and arriving at university, my mood remains heavy.

I enter the lecture room, find Maika, and sit next to her.

“Good morning.”

When I greet her, she replies, “Good morning.”

“Shiori, you look sleepy. That’s rare for you.”

Maika has changed in appearance since entering university, but her personality has not. She is still kind and observant.

“I couldn’t stop reading a book.”

I cannot say that I could not sleep because I was thinking about Sendai-san. I lean back against the chair and look at Maika.

Today, she has tied her hair, which is longer than mine, into a single bundle. A small accessory on her ear catches my eye.

“You pierced your ears yourself, right?”

When I ask, she answers, “Yeah.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Only for a moment.”

“So it does hurt after all.”

“It wasn’t as bad as I expected, but it probably depends on the person. Are you thinking about getting piercings too, Shiori?”

“Not really. I was just curious.”

The small accessory is cute.

Watching Maika, who has come to suit things like this since entering university, makes me think that getting piercings just for fashion might not be bad. Still, I dislike even brief pain. If there were a painless way, I might consider it, but it is not worth researching.

Even so, the accessory draws my attention.

Probably because it connects to memories from high school. It reminds me of Sendai-san, who disliked piercings. Lately, my thoughts always seem to circle back to her without my noticing.

“If you’re curious, you should get them. There are lots of cute ones, and we could even get matching piercings.”

As she says that, Maika gently tugs on my ear.

“Hm.”

I look at Maika’s piercings.

That small accessory is fixed into a hole opened in her body. If only promises could be fixed the same way.

That thought comes to mind.

But I cannot open a hole in Sendai-san’s ear. She followed most of my orders, but she refused to get piercings.

“If you’re interested, want to go look at piercings together? It’s fun just to look, even if you don’t buy any. Are you free today?”

Time is not a problem. Sendai-san is meeting someone I have never seen, so she will not come home early.

“I’m free. Let’s go.”

Being with Maika is enjoyable, and I do not want to be alone at home. Sendai-san also will eat meals with someone else.

I do not know whether I will buy piercings or not, but I decide to spend the time after university with Maika.

✧✧✧✧✧

I have a single paper bag in my hand. Inside it is what I bought with Maika the day before yesterday.

After eating doria with Sendai-san yesterday, I thought about giving it to her, but I could not. Today, I have been hesitating all day. Even now, after finishing dinner, I still have not given it to her.

I pace around the room and let out a breath in front of the bookshelf. The black cat is staring at me. What should I do?

After thinking for a moment, I leave the room and head to the shared space. Sendai-san seems to be in her room, since she is nowhere to be seen.

I pick up the platypus sitting on top of the color box and, for the first time since we came here, knock on Sendai-san’s door.

I knock twice, tap tap, then a third time.

From inside, I hear her voice say, “I’ll open it,” and the door opens.

“Miyagi, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Sendai-san looks at me with a puzzled expression. That is only natural.

Even though we live together, the distance between us is wide, and we have never entered each other’s rooms.

“…Let me in. I’m going to use the penalty game.”

“Now?”

Sendai-san frowns suspiciously and looks at the paper bag in my hand, then at the platypus. "Now. It won't take that much time, if you don't want to let me into your room, then come over here." 

The clock I glanced at before leaving my room showed just past nine o'clock, so it was neither too early for bed nor so late that she might refuse.

The penalty game I was about to initiate was something straightforward and simple to execute. The shared space would suffice as a venue if needed.

I had no intention of subjecting Sendai-san to anything cruel; it would all be resolved merely by using the contents of this paper bag. Nor would it demand much time.

It was a minor undertaking, one that Sendai-san could surely manage with ease.

"My room is fine."

Rather than opting for the shared space, Sendai-san swung the door wide open with a simple "Come in." I pondered briefly whether I should utter the customary "Excuse me for intruding," but in the end, I followed her inside in silence.

 A bed.

 A table.

A bookshelf.

The interior of Sendai-san's room, which I was entering for the first time, bore little resemblance to the versions of her space I had glimpsed in the past. The bookshelf was compact, sparsely lined with books. Even the bed was a different model. Though I hadn't visited her room countless times back in high school to grow accustomed to it, this new configuration felt utterly alien, as if it could not possibly belong to her. A profusion of incongruities stirred an unease deep in my chest.

"Sit wherever."

Sendai-san settled on the floor, leaning her back against the bed. I hesitated over where to position myself before lowering onto the spot beside her.

"So, Miyagi. What is this platypus all about?"

Sendai-san gave a light tap to the head of the tissue cover I clutched in my arms.

"It's a tissue holder."

"That much is obvious. Is this for the penalty game?"

"Probably."

"Probably? What on earth are you planning to make someone do?"

"This is the penalty game."

I handed her the paper bag I had brought and set the platypus down on the table.

"What is this?"

"Go ahead and look inside."

At my words, Sendai-san peered into the bag.

"Miyagi, this..."

Her voice dropped lower than usual, her brows knitting together in evident displeasure. She proceeded to lay out the contents on the table one by one.

A piercing gun.

Disinfectant solution.

Cotton swabs.

All of it was paraphernalia for creating piercings, and Sendai-san let out a single, heavy sigh.

"...This is out of bounds, isn't it? The promise was to heed one request from you, but that doesn't mean anything goes."

"True, we never established a rule explicitly forbidding piercings, did we?"

"I'll grant you that we didn't, but by any reasonable measure, a penalty game involving a permanent scar on someone's body is inherently unacceptable."

She was not angry, precisely, but her tone carried a note of exasperation. Still, I had anticipated such a reaction from her. I retrieved the piercing gun from the table and thrust it toward her insistently.

"It's not unacceptable. Pierce my ear."

"Even if you're fine with it, I'm not."

"Whether you like it or not is irrelevant. After all, it's my ear that would be pierced."

"...What?"

"No 'what' about it. These are tools for you to pierce my ear. So, use them on me."

I had surmised that a direct request to pierce her own ear would meet with absolute refusal, so I devised a method to secure our promise that did not hinge on that.

The solution had come swiftly.

I could anchor the promise to my own body.

My flesh was mine to command at will.

Sendai-san, too, would comply if the order did not compel her to perforate her own ear.

"The penalty game is something I undergo, right?"

"Exactly. So, honor my request. It's simple: just use this to bore a hole in my ear for the piercing."

I pointed to the piercing gun I had pressed into her grasp.

"That penalty game sounds utterly absurd."

"It doesn't."

"Were you always longing to get a piercing, Miyagi?"

"No. I hate pain, and I've never had any interest in piercings."

In truth, it mattered little whether I did or did not; yet I emphasized my aversion to imprint it firmly in her mind.

"Then why go through with it?"

"So that you won't forget our promise."

"That makes no sense whatsoever. ...What do you mean by that?"

Even I, who held no part-time job, could grasp that commencing tutoring would introduce an unyielding schedule, rendering her far less amenable to shifting plans. And our promise, by contrast, was pliable, something easily deferred or sidelined.

I recognized the selfishness in my stance, yet the prospect of our promise being postponed chafed at me all the same. Whether she pursued tutoring or abandoned the idea, I refused to let the promise fade from memory.

Thus, I elected to lend it a touch more gravity by tethering it to myself.

"If you personally carve a hole into someone's flesh, you won't forget today's events, will you? Every time you look at me, recall the vow we made."

Memories have their limits; one cannot retain every occurrence in vivid detail. But an act of sufficient impact would endure in recollection. In that case, why not pair the piercing with our promise? By linking the indelible mark of a perforated earlobe to our bond, it would prove difficult to erase.

Hence, the piercing had to be administered by Sendai-san herself, upon my ear.

"And with that, you can reflect on your breach of promise and atone."

"Miyagi. Are you seriously proposing this?"

"I am."

I declared it unequivocally.

Yet Sendai-san made no move to wield the piercing gun.

"Why not do it yourself? Forcing a piercing on you when you're reluctant feels wrong to me."

"No. You have to pierce an ear that wants nothing to do with it, and let regret grow deep. Force yourself to truly feel the heavy burden of your mistake."

I hoped, at least, to amplify her sense of guilt, however slightly. She had pierced the ear of one who protested, implanting the stud against my will. I yearned for that image to etch itself indelibly into her consciousness.

" ... I've never used one of these before, you know."

With a sigh laced in resignation, Sendai-san tore open the piercing gun's packaging. She then extracted the instruction manual and began perusing it.

"Sendai-san, have you never done this for Ibaraki-san or anyone else?"

"No. They all handled it themselves. You'd be the first for me."

A quiet relief washed over me at the knowledge that this was no routine procedure for her.

If it marked her inaugural attempt, it would only heighten the act's memorability.

For thoroughness, I outlined the steps for her benefit.

Disinfect first, then mark the spot.

It aligned closely with the manual's directives, but I relayed the sequence I had researched nonetheless. "Start with the disinfection."

Sendai-san swept my hair aside to expose the ear and proceeded methodically, swabbing it with disinfectant before tugging gently at the lobe to verify. "Touching it like that defeats the purpose of disinfecting."

I swatted her arm with a light smack, but she refused to release her hold. As she continued to fondle the ear, I protested, "It's ticklish; stop it," and delivered another tap to her arm.

"I was just savoring the ear of the current Miyagi before committing to the perforation, that's all."

With those words, Sendai-san let her fingers drift from the lobe, gliding along the contour behind my ear and tracing down my neckline. The ticklish sensation intensified.

What had begun as mere fingertips now pressed the full warmth of her palm against my skin, her body heat seeping in. The proximity between us seemed to contract, prompting me to shove at her shoulder.

"Disinfect it again."

"Understood."

Sendai-san wiped my ear once more with the dampened cotton and took up the pen.

The lingering chill of the disinfectant left my ear tingling faintly.

"Where should the piercing go?"

When she inquired, I replied airily, "Anywhere's fine."

"Then I'll choose arbitrarily."

After a moment's deliberation, Sendai-san marked the lobe with the pen and reached for the piercing gun.

"...Miyagi, are you truly certain about this?"

"Yes."

It would hurt.

Undoubtedly, it would.

Maika had claimed it was less painful than anticipated, but a thick needle spearing through flesh could scarcely be painless. Moreover, the uncertainty of its intensity terrified me.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly.

Yet no matter how long I waited, the anticipated sting never arrived.

"Sendai-san, are you going to do it or not?"

I cracked my eyes open to ask.

"No, I mean, I'm just second-guessing whether I should really be the one to..."

"I'm telling you to do it."

"I will, if you're sure."

Her voice, unusually laced with apprehension, pressed for confirmation once more.

"You're being persistent, Sendai-san. Just get on with it."

It's frightening, you know. I swallow those words.

“Okay, here I go.”

Along with those words, the piercing gun presses against my ear.

I close my eyes and clench my hands tightly. Then, with a sharp pop, a fairly loud sound echoes directly into my eardrum, and pain shoots through my ear. However, the pain lasts only an instant and is not as bad as I had imagined. More than the pain, what bothers me is the tingling sensation spreading through my earlobe.

“I’ll open this side too.”

Cotton is pressed against it, and my ear feels cool again. This time, I open my eyes and look at Sendai-san. After she says, “Here I go,” the same popping sound rings out again, followed by a flash of pain.

Sendai-san exhales and places the used piercing gun on the table.

“Are you okay?”

As she says this, she disinfects the area around the piercing.

“It hurt a lot. My ear is still tingling.”

I exaggerate the pain, which was not actually that bad, and touch my ear. A small, round object bumps against my finger, and there is something on the back of my ear that was not there before.

“Want to see?”

“Yes.”

Sendai-san hands me a small hand mirror, and I reflect my ear in it.

A small silver ornament.

It is not the same as Maika’s, but a similar piercing is attached. Because of this new decoration that was not there before, I look different from my usual self.

“It feels weird.”

I touch my ear once more and look away from the mirror. My eyes meet Sendai-san’s, who seems to have been watching me.

“It suits you.”

She says it with a smile, offering words that I cannot tell whether to believe or not.

Sendai-san sometimes says things that make it impossible to know whether they are lies or the truth.

That is why I cannot tell whether the words “it suits you,” spoken while she was looking at my piercing, are sincere.

Her smile looks as though it is hiding her true feelings, and I cannot trust it. Piercings do not suit me. Even the version of me reflected in the mirror seems to be saying that they do not.

Unable to find anything to say in response, I touch the piercing and look at my fingertips.

“I thought a little blood would come out.”

Even though I touched my freshly pierced ear, there is no blood on my finger. I do not know the reason, but apparently almost no blood comes out when you pierce your ears.

“Could it be that this platypus was for when blood comes out?”

Sendai-san picks up the tissue folded into the shape of a platypus, its bill sticking out, and pats it on the head.

“Just in case.”

When I was researching how to pierce ears, it said that almost no blood comes out, and Maika said the same about hers. Still, I brought tissues in case something happened, but it seems they were unnecessary.

“Miyagi, you’re pretty scared of things and you worry a lot, huh.”

As she speaks, Sendai-san moves the platypus’s bill up and down.

I lightly tap the small paper hand.

“I’m not scared, and I don’t worry.”

“You were flinching when the hole was being made.”

“Sendai-san looked more anxious.”

“Well, yeah. It said it’s no good if it isn’t straight.”

Sendai-san’s gaze shifts from the platypus to my ear.

Then she suddenly goes quiet.

“Why did you suddenly stop talking?”

“Can I touch your ear?”

Without waiting for my answer, her hand reaches out, and I swat it away.

“No. It says you shouldn’t touch it right after getting it pierced.”

“Miyagi, you touched it earlier.”

“That’s fine because I’ll disinfect it afterward.”

“If you’re going to disinfect it anyway, then it should be fine if I touch it.”

“It’s not. Besides, why do I have to let Sendai-san touch it?”

“I want to properly check whether the piercing is in correctly. If my finger does not touch the piercing itself, then it should be fine to touch your ear a little.”

“You don’t need to check. The hole is straight, and it was done properly, so there’s no reason for Sendai-san to look or touch.”

There is no need to touch it to confirm.

I can tell just by looking in the mirror that the piercing is straight.

Saying she wants to check feels like nothing more than an excuse to do something inappropriate. If I let my guard down, Sendai-san always does something strange.

“Miyagi, do you know?”

Having given up on touching my ear, Sendai-san speaks in an unusually gentle voice.

“What?”

“I heard that piercings hurt more after the hole is made than when it’s being made.”

“I researched it, so I know.”

“I see.”

Sendai-san places the platypus on the floor and grabs my right hand. I reflexively pull my arm back, but she tugs it toward her with surprising strength. Something warm touches a spot higher than my earlobe.

Her fingers dig into my wrist.

It hurts a little.

But more than that, my ear draws my attention. What is touching it are Sendai-san’s lips, and the sensation, one I have not felt in a while, is ticklish and oddly pleasant.

Her lips pull away, and then they press against it again, more firmly this time.

My heart starts beating faster.

It is Sendai-san’s fault.

I push her shoulder hard with my left hand.

“Don’t do weird things all of a sudden. Germs will get in.”

My ear feels hot.

I stroke the spot where Sendai-san touched with my fingertip.

“It’s not on the piercing itself, so it’s fine. And it’s not weird. It’s a charm to make the pain go away.”

Sendai-san says words I have heard from her before. A charm that lets you write the correct answer.

She once said that and performed this so-called charm by touching part of my body with her lips. But that was something she made up as a way to get me through the university entrance exam.

“That won’t make the pain go away.”

It is not something worth making a fuss over, but the pain in my ear remains.

“It’s not a charm with instant results.”

“Sendai-san, stop saying random things like that.”

“You know my charms work.”

I passed the university entrance exam, and that is why I am here now.

But I do not know whether passing was thanks to Sendai-san’s charm. No, if I think about it normally, it was not because of the charm. It was because I studied. And because Sendai-san taught me how to study. The so-called charm kiss had nothing to do with it.

“Charms are just Sendai-san doing whatever she wants.”

“Then what does Miyagi want to do?”

“Something that isn’t what Sendai-san wants.”

“If I say I don’t want the charm . . . does that mean Miyagi will give me the charm?”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then let me do the charm on you.”

Sendai-san pulls at my hand, which she is still holding. My body starts to tilt, but I forcibly peel her hand off my wrist.

“Hey, Sendai-san.”

The hand I shook off immediately grabs my shoulder.

Sendai-san steps closer, and her lips press against the area just above my ear.

This is the closest distance we have been at since I came here.

Since we started living together, Sendai-san’s lips had not been pressed to any part of my body like this, and I had made sure that would not happen. To put it more strongly, I had been consciously maintaining a position appropriate for roommates. But now, all of those efforts are rendered meaningless. Sendai-san is close enough to touch me, and she is doing exactly that.

“Miyagi.”

She calls my name near my ear.

Her breath brushes against it, making the area feel ticklish. Her lips press against it again, and the spot grows warm.

It is too close.

I think we should separate.

But I cannot push Sendai-san away the way I did earlier.

Something other than her lips touches my ear. It is the tip of her tongue, and my ear becomes wet. Just as she said, it does not touch the piercing itself.

When her tongue moves, a shiver runs through me.

It is ticklish, and it feels unpleasant.

As she licks along the surface of my skin, my breath catches in my throat. The discomfort is almost overwhelmed by a sensation that feels good, and I let out a breath all at once before pushing her shoulder.

“Hey, Sendai-san. Move away.”

When I put strength into both hands, she retreats by that much. It is still closer than what feels appropriate for roommates, but no longer close enough for her to kiss my ear. I take a sheet of tissue from the platypus placed nearby and wipe my ear. Then I smack Sendai-san’s thigh with the platypus.

“Ow.”

Sendai-san reacts as if she is in exaggerated pain.

“I’m telling you not to do weird things. Besides, roommates don’t do this kind of stuff.”

“Roommates do charms, at least.”

“They don’t do this kind of charm. Sendai-san, act like a proper roommate.”

“But it’s because Miyagi . . .”

Sendai-san starts to say something, then stops.

“What about me?”

“. . . said something like, let me pierce your ear.”

“I did say that, but I didn’t say to do anything beyond that.”

I hit Sendai-san once more with the platypus.

“It hurts.”

“My pierced ear hurts more. Disinfect it one more time.”

I hand her the cotton and the disinfectant. She takes them without a word, soaks the cotton, and presses it against the piercing.

Both ears are wiped quickly, and then the cotton is removed.

My damp ear feels cool.

It is different from Sendai-san’s lips or tongue.

When she touched it, it felt much hotter . . . . . .

I reach for my freshly disinfected ear and clench my hand tightly.

“I’m going back to my room now.”

The piercing gun, disinfectant, and cotton.

I put everything into the paper bag, pick it up, and stand. But Sendai-san tugs on my clothes, preventing me from leaving.

“Miyagi.”

“What?”

“I said it earlier, but the piercing suits you. I think it’s cute.”

She lets go of my clothes.

“You don’t have to flatter me. That thing has nothing to do with design anyway.”

The piercing that comes with the gun is meant to stabilize the newly made hole, and I chose it for its material rather than its appearance. Medical-grade stainless steel is hardly something I would call cute, and it does not seem like something Sendai-san would genuinely praise for its design.

“I really do think it’s cute.”

“Stop saying things like that.”

I turn my back to her.

After taking one step, then another, I hear her voice again.

“Wait. What’s this?”

When I turn around, Sendai-san is holding the tissue with the platypus cover.

“Put that in your room, Sendai-san,” I say.

“But I already have tissues.”

I walk back toward her, take the platypus from her hands, remove the tissue inside, and hold out the bar-shaped part.

“Here.”

“You mean I should put it on the tissue in my room?”

“It’s better if something is attached. If you don’t, I’ll just put it back on this one.”

“I’ll attach it, so lend it to me.”

Sendai-san takes the tissue cover from me, then adds one more thing.

“And one more thing.”

“What?”

“Do you have any free days during Golden Week?”

The question is completely unexpected. Still, I can answer without even checking the calendar in my head.

“I do, but absolutely not.”

“I haven’t said anything yet.”

“It’s probably something like going out somewhere.”

“Well, yeah, it is.”

“I’ll consider other options.”

Sendai-san and I do not share the same hobbies. To be precise, I do not really know what her hobbies are, but our universities and friend groups are different, and we have very little overlap. Even the movies we want to watch do not match. Staying home together seems far better than going out.

“Then clear some time. I’ll think of something.”

She says this while patting the head of the platypus, now limp because its tissue base has been removed.

“Got it.”

I turn my back to her again.

When I open the door, she says good night, and I reply, “Good night.”