Volume 6 Episode 08

As expected, it wasn't there.

On my way back home from university, I always walk while keeping a careful eye on my surroundings, just enough so I don't look suspicious but not once have I ever spotted the calico cat Sendai-san mentioned.

"…Hey, kitty."

I call out in a quiet voice.

Honestly, I even start wondering if there really aren't any cats in this neighborhood at all, but there's no reason she'd lie to me about something like that. Still, if that's the case, then the cat must be somewhere, and the only reason I can't find it is because it simply doesn't want to show itself to me.

Somehow, that really pisses me off.

Showing itself to Sendai-san but not to me—how unfair is that?

I pick up my pace.

I head up the stairs to the third floor.

I open the front door and slip off my shoes.

Sendai-san's shoes aren't there.

Naturally, the shared space beyond the entrance is empty.

Sendai-san has her tutoring job, and I usually get home earlier anyway, so I'm used to there being no one waiting when I open the door.

It's always been like that, ever since I was a kid.

No matter how many times I looked past the genkan, my father was never there.

At some point, that just became normal. Saying "I'm home" and getting no reply in return became my normal. Until Sendai-san started coming over, an empty house was simply my house, and I lived in it without ever realizing that being alone in a place like that was supposed to feel lonely.

But now, when I spend too much time by myself, I feel lonely.

Sendai-san has worked her way so deeply into my life that she's made me remember words I had long since forgotten.

The emotions she brought with her are the kind that would've been better left buried, and sometimes they're honestly a nuisance.

I let out a small sigh and step into my room.

I grab the black cat plushie lounging on the bookshelf and flop straight onto the bed.

Today's one of the days she doesn't have her tutoring job, so Sendai-san should be coming home early.

Just thinking about her possibly coming back after petting that calico cat makes something in my chest stir uneasily.

I run my hand over the black cat's belly.

It feels completely different from Sendai-san.

What I'm holding is just a plushie. Sendai-san is a real person.

She has body heat. There's no cotton stuffed inside her. If I rest my hand on her, her stomach rises and falls with each breath, and if I press too hard, she'll complain. It's far more interesting than touching a plushie.

If she'd let me touch her again, I'd want to.

That said, I haven't had the chance since then, so I'm stuck touching the plushie's belly instead. I squeeze the black cat's stomach firmly.

It isn't made to squeak, so all that happens is that its body bends slightly. Nothing more. Even when I stroke it gently, it keeps the same expression as always.

"Boring."

I place the black cat plushie on my stomach and pet its head.

Sendai-san said she likes cats.

I've thought about that several times since she told me, but does the fact that this plushie that showed up as a Christmas present happens to be a cat carry any special meaning?

…There's no way it does.

From where I'm lying on the bed, I glance over at the alligator-shaped tissue box cover that's been with me for years.

The black cat is that alligator's friend.

I remember Sendai-san saying that.

That's all there is to it. The plushie is just a plushie. Even if there were some deeper meaning, it's not like I can ask about a Christmas present now.

When I'm with Sendai-san, the number of things I want to know keeps growing every day, but that's all it is. Most of the things I want to know, I just can't find out. Instead, slightly different bits of information from what I actually wanted get stored away in my mind.

Like how Sendai-san likes cats more than dogs and will even go out of her way to look for them.

Like how Sendai-san's stomach feels even nicer now than it did the last time I touched it.

The new information isn't exactly what I wanted, but it still does a decent job of easing the frustration of not being able to learn the things I truly want to know.

I sit up.

I've got assignments I need to finish today.

I used to think university students spent all their time messing around, but that image couldn't have been more wrong. Maybe things will change once I'm a second- or third-year, but right now, as a first-year, there's way more to do than I ever expected. I thought I could coast through university life and slack off whenever I felt like it, but that was a huge mistake.

I can't just lie around forever.

Even though I'm not really in the mood, I pull out my laptop and turn it on. I spread my materials across the desk and start typing. Before even thirty minutes have passed, I hear a knock at the door, followed by Sendai-san's gentle voice.

"Miyagi, you there?"

I get to my feet and open the door, and before I can even say anything, she goes, "I'm home."

"Welcome back."

"I'm starving, so why don't we start dinner a bit early and eat?"

"Sure."

There are a bunch of things I want to ask her, but they get stuck in the back of my throat and never make it out; the only words I manage to say are the usual ones.

I step into the shared living area and stop beside Sendai-san, who's standing next to the table.

"Is Utsunomiya still coming like we planned?"

"Yeah."

The day I kept putting off—when Maika's supposed to come over—is the day after tomorrow. She'll get here sometime Sunday afternoon.

Honestly, the thought of Maika and Sendai-san being in the same space doesn't sit right with me. Whenever I see them together, this indescribable feeling spreads through me, like paint bleeding into water. Still, it's a promise from last month, and there's no way I can cancel it now.

"Sendai-san, promise you won't say anything weird."

I warn her, knowing how unpredictable she can be.

I don't think she'd actually touch me in front of Maika, but she might say something she shouldn't.

"No way I'd do that. I won't say anything that'd put you in a tough spot, so relax."

"Hearing that from you is the least reassuring thing ever, Sendai-san."

"Then how about I swear on your piercing?"

The moment she says it, Sendai-san gently touches my ear.

Her fingers move like she's kneading my earlobe, and the ticklish feeling makes me shove her shoulder. Still, her fingers don't leave my ear.

"Not now."

"Why not?"

Sendai-san traces the piercing and slides her fingers behind my ear. It feels like there's something more than just a promise in that touch, and my heartbeat starts pounding. I know I'm just being overly conscious of her, but all my nerves gather at my ear anyway.

Even though I told her she doesn't need to swear, Sendai-san brings her lips close to my ear. A faint, warm breath brushes against it, and I kick her leg.

"That hurts, you know."

Sendai-san pulls her hand away from my ear and steps back.

"That's because I kicked you hard enough to hurt."

"Go easy on me."

"If I go easy, you wouldn't have backed off."

"Yeah, but you really don't need me to swear?"

"Sendai-san, if you swear now, you'll probably say the promise expires before Maika even gets here or something. Make the promise on Sunday."

I'm the one deciding both what the promise is and when she'll swear it. If I let my guard down, Sendai-san will casually tweak the terms however she wants.

"You really don't trust me at all, huh?"

She says it with obvious dissatisfaction and opens the refrigerator.

"If the cat were around, I might trust you a little more."

I trust her more than I used to, but I still can't take everything she says at face value.

"You mean that calico cat around the neighborhood?"

I hear the fridge door close softly.

"Yeah. I still haven't seen it."

"…It really is there, okay?"

Maybe she thinks I'm doubting her, because Sendai-san looks at me with a troubled expression. Then she says, "How about omurice?" 

✧✧✧✧✧

My steps feel unusually heavy as I head toward the station. 

The reason's simple: that's where I'm meeting Maika.

I try looking for the calico cat to distract myself, but it's nowhere in sight.

I don't feel like I'm walking that fast, yet I reach the station before I know it. With nothing else to do, I just stand there absentmindedly, waiting, when Maika's voice calls out to me.

"Shiori, did I keep you waiting?"

"I just got here."

I smile at Maika, who looks the same as always, yet somehow a little different.

A small heart-shaped piercing, and a cute skirt.

Today, she's clearly put more effort into her appearance than usual. She always looks neat at university, of course, but right now she's dressed even more stylishly than she normally is.

"You didn't have to come all the way to pick me up, you know."

"It's close, so really, don't worry about it."

The road from the station to the house isn't the kind you could ever get lost on, but even so, having someone come meet me makes me feel safer. I say, "Let's go," and start walking alongside Maika.

"You seem a little down?"

I keep nodding along as I listen to Maika's stories while we walk, and right next to me, I hear her voice, clearly tinged with concern.

"It's just the heat."

I can't tell her the real reason, so I throw out a random excuse instead.

Just thinking about Maika coming over to the house I share with Sendai-san makes my chest tighten, a heavy, uneasy feeling settling deep inside.

"Sendai-san's home today, right?"

Maika glances at me as she deliberately sticks to the shaded side of the street.

"Yeah, she is. She was really excited about making pancakes."

Maika's been wanting to meet Sendai-san for a while now, so she's the one waiting for us at the house. And the reason she's dressed nicer than usual today is probably because of Sendai-san too.

Back when we were still in high school, Sendai-san felt like someone from a completely different world—everything about her seemed distant, out of reach.

We're heading to my house, but it's also Sendai-san's house, so it's not strange at all that Maika would dress up a bit for it.

"Pancakes? Is Sendai-san good at cooking?"

"I think she is."

Everything Sendai-san makes tastes good.

I'm sure anyone else who tried her cooking would feel the same way.

But there's this small part of me that doesn't want Maika to taste it. And the fact that Maika probably dressed up for Sendai-san's sake bothers me just a little more than it should. I know it's petty, but I don't know how to handle this feeling properly. Maika's my precious friend—the one I want to stay close to forever—and yet I'm thinking things like this, and I hate myself for it.

"When I think about everything being prepared, it makes me feel like a real guest. It's kind of exciting."

Maika says it with a bright, cheerful tone.

I should be just as happy as she is, but it's not working. The best I can do is force a smile and pretend I'm excited too.

"Not 'like a guest'—you really are a guest today, so make sure you let yourself be spoiled, okay?"

"Then I will."

Her voice bounces with energy.

Even as we keep chatting about nothing in particular, our feet keep moving forward, step by step, bringing us closer to the house.

We're walking toward it, so of course we're getting closer—that's only natural—but part of me wishes we could just turn around and head the other way. It feels like something's dragging at my legs, like the weight of gravity—something I never even notice normally—is pressing down on me.

Today, I made Sendai-san swear on her piercings that she "wouldn't say anything weird," so I probably don't have to worry about her too much. Maika's not the kind of person who says things that would make someone uncomfortable either, so I shouldn't have to worry about her but for some reason, today feels different. When it comes to anything involving Sendai-san, Maika's instincts are strangely sharp, and that makes me uneasy.

It'll be fine. It'll definitely be fine.

I keep repeating those words in my head like a mantra when suddenly, Maika stops walking and says, "Cat."

"Cat?"

"Look, over there."

Maika points ahead with her finger, toward a patch of shade a little further down the road.

I follow her gaze, and sure enough, there's a cat there. No matter how you look at it, it's a calico.

"It really is there—a cat."

"What do you mean, 'it really is'?"

"Sendai-san told me there was a cat around here, but I'd never actually seen it. Even when we came looking together the other day, it wasn't there."

"'We came looking together'… with Sendai-san?"

Maika repeats my words, and that's when I realize I've said something I didn't really need to.

No, it's fine that I said it.

Sendai-san doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd go out of her way to look for a cat, but it really did happen. There's nothing about it that would cause Maika any trouble if I told her.

It's just normal conversation.

I know that.

But the moment I start talking about something I did with Sendai-san in front of Maika, my thoughts stop lining up properly. Going out to look for a cat with Sendai-san isn't strange at all, and yet for some reason, I start to feel guilty.

"Yeah. Last Sunday, Sendai-san suddenly said, 'Let's go look for the cat,' and we ended up going."

I try to keep my tone as casual as possible.

"Shiori, do you and Sendai-san do stuff like that all the time?"

Before I can answer, Maika crouches down and calls out, "Here, kitty." But the cat doesn't come over. It just stays sprawled lazily in the shade.

I keep my eyes on the cat and continue the harmless conversation.

"Not really. That was just a one-time thing. I'd never seen the cat before, so…"

Maybe it wasn't reacting to my voice, but one of the cat's ears twitches slightly.

"You two seem pretty close. I mean, that's basically a date, isn't it?"

"No way I'd go on a date with Sendai-san. Besides, I don't think people go out of their way to look for cats on dates anyway."

My voice comes out a bit louder than I meant it to, and the cat that had been stretched out along the sidewalk reacts by lifting its head. Then, in the next instant, it bolts.

"Aw, it ran off."

Maika lets out a disappointed little cry as the cat darts past us and disappears down the street.

"I wanted to pet it…"

With Maika's regretful voice trailing behind us, we start walking again.

The cat lets Sendai-san pet it, but apparently it wants nothing to do with us.

It's more stingy than I expected.

Not very friendly at all.

While I'm still thinking that, Maika says, "About what we were talking about earlier," and glances over at me.

"Going out to look for a cat on your day off… doesn't that kind of feel like the sort of date two people living together would do just to pass the time?"

The cat's already long gone and the house is getting closer, so we should be able to let the topic drop, but Maika brings it right back again. I'm not exactly thrilled about continuing this conversation, but forcing a change of subject would make it seem like I'm trying to hide something, so I answer her anyway.

"I don't think so. If your live-in partner suddenly said, 'Let's go look for the cat,' would you really call that a date? To me, it's just cat-searching, nothing more."

"If two people who live together go out somewhere, then anything counts as a date."

Maika answers immediately, then adds, "Not that I have anyone like that."

"Even so, Sendai-san and I are just roommates. We're not living together in that kind of way."

Maika nods, sounding convinced. "Well, yeah, I guess." Then, as if something just came to mind, she continues, "Oh right, Shiori. Speaking of dates—Ami! She said she broke up with her boyfriend, right?"

The topic of Sendai-san ends there, and the two of us spend the rest of the walk chatting about Ami, the one who stayed behind in our hometown. Less than five minutes after leaving the spot where the cat had been, we arrive at the house. I open the front door. We slip off our shoes and head into the shared living space together, where Sendai-san is standing with a bowl in her hands, looking exactly the same as when I left earlier.

"I'm home."

When I call out, she replies, "Welcome back."

Today, Sendai-san is wearing a simple knit top and a skirt, but it's a proper, well-put-together outfit. In other words, she's dressed up just like Maika. She's gone to the trouble of doing that even though we're inside the house, all because Maika is coming over, and yeah, it still bothers me. But I can't let any of that show on my face, so I force my voice to sound bright.

"Are you making the pancakes now?"

"Yeah. Fresh ones taste better, and I was waiting for you to get back."

Sendai-san cracked an egg while speaking and called out to Maika, "Long time no see."

"Wow, it really has been a while. It's been quite some time since that whole 'runaway incident,' hasn't it?"

Maika said it with genuine feeling, and Sendai-san let out a cheerful "Ahaha."

"You really saved me back then. If another 'runaway incident' ever happens, I'm counting on you again."

"Hey, it wasn't a runaway. I was just staying over at Maika's place for a bit, so don't go turning it into some weird incident."

That's not fair.

It wasn't anything that deserved to be called an incident. I'd simply taken refuge at a friend's house for a short while and planned to go back soon after. And yet, the two of them were happily blowing a minor event way out of proportion into some full-blown drama.

"Here, a souvenir."

After they'd thoroughly enjoyed their moment, Maika handed Sendai-san a small bag.

"Thanks. You really didn't have to go out of your way."

"It's nothing special. Just some ordinary cookies, so the two of you can eat them together."

Maika smiled sweetly as she glanced over at me.

I wanted to tell her I'd eat them myself instead of "the two of us," but there was no point saying that to Maika.

"Thanks."

I kept it to a simple, polite word, without adding anything more.

"I'm going to start making the pancakes now, so why don't you two go chat in the room?"

"Eh, I'll help."

Maika looked over at Sendai-san, who was already mixing the contents of the bowl.

"It's fine, I've got it. Utsunomiya, you want to see Miyagi's room, right? Besides, Miyagi would just get in the way, so take her with you."

Sendai-san said something so incredibly rude that I almost kicked her leg on reflex, but I barely held myself back. Back in high school I really would've been nothing but a nuisance, but now I was at least a little more useful than I used to be.

"Then I'll take Shiori with me. Which room is it?"

I wanted to at least voice a complaint, but before I could, Maika grabbed my arm, and I ended up leading her toward my room.

"This way."

I couldn't keep up with how perfectly the two of them worked together.

For some reason, their timing was completely in sync.

There was no way they'd rehearsed anything, and yet it all felt far too smooth.

"It's gotten a little smaller, but the vibe is exactly the same as back in high school."

The moment we stepped into the room, Maika said that.

"I brought everything except the larger stuff just the way it was."

"The alligator's here too."

"I brought it along. Anyway, sit wherever you like."

I said that to Maika, who was looking around the room that couldn't exactly be called spacious, and she sat down across from me.

We'd already talked plenty about what it was like living under the same roof with someone else, and the only thing left that could really spark Maika's curiosity was Sendai-san. So, without Sendai-san there, the conversation carried on almost exactly like it does when we're at university.

I found myself wishing the pancakes would never finish cooking.

But of course, that was impossible.

Knock, knock.

Just as the conversation began to lull, two soft knocks sounded.

It was Sendai-san at the door. I stepped out of the room for a moment.

"The pancakes are done, so what should we do?"

Amid the faintly drifting sweet aroma, Sendai-san asked in a gentle voice.

I didn't want to let Sendai-san into my room.

That was because I didn't want today to become the very first time I let her in. If I was going to invite her into a room she'd never once entered before, I wanted it to be on a day when Maika wasn't around.

Ideally, I wanted us to eat in the shared space, but I was worried Maika might find that strange.

While I was still struggling to decide what to do, the door to my room opened, and Maika poked her head out.

"What's up?"

"She said the pancakes are ready."

I relayed the message without having fully sorted out my thoughts, and Maika, clearly assuming we'd eat in my room, replied, "I'll help carry them."

What should I do?

I couldn't exactly tell her there was no need to carry anything.

At a complete loss, I looked over at Sendai-san, and she spoke as if something had just occurred to her.

"Utsunomiya, want to see my room too?"

"I'd love to, but is that okay?"

"Of course it is. Then let's eat the pancakes in my room, yeah?"

Sendai-san smiled brightly.