Volume 3 Episode 05

 I look at the test paper on the writing desk.

The results aren’t bad.

In fact, they’re better than before.

But they’re still not good enough to get into the same university as Sendai-san. I’ll show her the test paper when she comes to my room soon, and she’ll probably think the same.

It was never a university I was likely to get into, and I never believed a bit of extra studying would let me catch up to her. So this outcome is reasonable.

It’s nothing to feel down about, so I’m not bothered. My mood feels a little heavy, but that’s probably just the bad weather.

I glance out the window.

The rain that started in the early afternoon is still falling.

The sky is dark, and the air feels gloomy.

Sendai-san said she’d be a bit late when I called, so she hasn’t arrived yet.

To kill time, I pick up my phone and open a university’s digital pamphlet.

After flipping through a few pages, I sigh.

The pamphlet on the screen isn’t for my top-choice university—it’s Maika’s. I’ve looked at it so many times I know the contents by heart. It’s not as competitive as the one Sendai-san is aiming for, but until recently, it was the kind of school a teacher might frown at if I said I wanted to apply. Now, though, it’s not a university I’d give up on before trying. And it’s close to Sendai-san’s top choice.

There’s still time.

I’m not limited to local universities.

I flip to the last page and close the pamphlet. Then, even though it won’t change anything, I open the one for Sendai-san’s university. I’ve seen it before, and nothing about it has changed today. I flip through it mechanically and close it halfway.

I set the phone down on the desk.

From my pencil case, I take out one of two erasers—the one Sendai-san went out of her way to return to me at school. My memories with her are definitely piling up, and some of them will probably turn into keepsakes. Unlike the eraser, the necklace I gave her before midterms—though I don’t have it with me—feels like it’ll become one too.

—Not exactly a good thing, though.

If I’m leaving memories, I want them to remain only in Sendai-san’s mind.

I don’t want them in mine.

That’s what I think, but leaving memories in her means leaving them in me too. Whether they take physical form or not, Sendai-san keeps growing inside me. Even a single eraser is steeped in her.

I never meant to keep adding memories with her, but somehow, I keep doing just that. I’ve already decided our end date won’t change, yet here I am doing pointless things like looking at a university pamphlet I can’t even get into. I wish I could throw that part of myself away somewhere.

I shouldn’t have called Sendai-san today.

Sighing over something I can’t change now, the intercom rings.

I don’t need to check to know who it is.

I put the eraser back in the pencil case, unlock the entrance, and soon Sendai-san walks into the room.

“It’s cold today,” she says, sneezing.

As October nears its end, our uniforms have switched from transitional to winter. Given the weather, it’s no surprise that even heat-sensitive Sendai-san feels cold.

“Is the rain bad?”

“It’s down to a drizzle.”

“Your shoulders are wet. Give me your blazer.”

I hold out my hand, and Sendai-san takes off her slightly damp blazer, unbuttoning the second button of her blouse. I see the necklace at her chest. I want to touch the silver chain, but instead I take her blazer and hang it up. Then I head to the kitchen.

I start to open the fridge but glance at the kettle.

Seeing there’s hot water, I grab a tea bag from the shelf and make some tea. I took a cider for myself from the fridge and return to the room, where Sendai-san is sitting in her usual spot.

I place the cup on the table, and a cheerful voice greets me.

“Tea?”

“If you’d rather have cider, drink that.”

“Tea’s good. Thanks.”

Sendai-san smiles brightly, and I turn away to grab the test paper from the desk. I’m not exactly thrilled, but I promised to show it to her, so I place it on the table along with five thousand yen and sit down beside her.

“Here.”

Sendai-san, sipping her tea, sets the cup down, says, “Thanks,” and pockets the money. Then she picks up the test paper.

“You’re really showing me your test.”

“You’re the one who told me to.”

“True, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

“If you’re not going to look, give it back.”

I hold out my hand, but she doesn’t return the paper or say anything.

She just stares at it silently.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

“You told me not to say anything, Miyagi.”

I did say that, but having her go through my scores and answers without a word feels unsettling. If she pointed out every mistake, I’d feel down, but her silence makes my chest feel murky.

“You can talk. Just say something.”

“I don’t know your past scores exactly, but these are probably a big improvement, right?”

“They are.”

“You planning to study more?”

“Nope. This is good enough for my university. That’s fine, right?”

I snatch the test paper from her hands.

“Want to see mine?”

“I’d rather see the necklace than your test.”

I tug at Sendai-san’s uniform as she starts to open her bag.

“Showing the necklace—is that an order?”

“Yeah.”

“Technically, an accessory with a pendant top is called a pendant, not a necklace.”

“Whatever.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of a feeling thing.”

Sendai-san says it casually, looking at me.

“Go ahead. Look as much as you want.”

Her voice sounds dismissive, but she’s following the order, so that’s fine.

I touch the third button of her blouse—the one that sometimes comes undone and sometimes doesn’t.

Her hand twitches, about to grab my wrist, but quickly pulls back.

The third button must be okay to unbutton now.

Wanting to see the necklace better, I loosen her tie and unbutton it. I don’t open her blouse wide, but her underwear is visible. I can’t touch that, so I touch the necklace instead.

“It tickles.”

“Deal with it.”

We returned the swapped ties.

The necklace is promised until graduation.

I tug lightly on the chain.

“Miyagi, be gentle.”

“You’re noisy, Sendai-san. Be quiet for a bit.”

“Fine, fine.”

I trace the chain with my fingertips.

Lately, Sendai-san has been too impulsive—

Calling me out at school, kissing me.

Trying to do things I never ordered.

I don’t mind kissing her, but wanting to do it at school is wrong. She’s supposed to follow me, not act on her own. For us to do anything, there has to be a price—and I’m the only one who gets to pay it.

Not Sendai-san.

I make her wear what I give her and issue orders to make it clear she has to follow me.

Until graduation.

During that time, she doesn’t need to listen to Ibaraki-san or anyone else.

Sendai-san should only look at me, and I should be the only one who can touch her.

“Had enough?”

Bored of being quiet, Sendai-san pushes my forehead as I keep touching the necklace.

“You can button up, Sendai-san.”

“Any trade-offs, Miyagi?”

She brings up the day I gave her the necklace.

That day, I let her kiss me in exchange for the right to unbutton her fourth button. But today, I’ve only unbuttoned three, and I don’t plan to ask for more.

“I haven’t done anything that needs a trade-off, have I?”

“I thought you might.”

“I’m not. Button up.”

“Offer a trade-off.”

I can’t tell if she’s serious. She might just brush it off as a joke and pretend it never happened. Even her talk about losing rationality before the test sounded like a joke. I don’t think I have anything that could really make her lose it.

“I’m not offering one.”

I know what she wants, but I refuse.

Kissing her isn’t bad, but the fact that it isn’t bad bothers me. I could order her to let me kiss her, but I know she’d think I must really want it if I did. I don’t want that.

And—

If we keep kissing, it feels like she’ll grow tired of it.

I button up her third button and give an order she didn’t ask for.

“Read a book.”

“What about studying?”

“I’ll do that afterward.”

Without saying “Okay” or “Fine,” Sendai-san ties her tie and stands. She walks to the bookshelf.

“Which one?”

“Anything you like.”

“Something I like, huh.”

After a quiet murmur, I hear a small sneeze.

“Did you catch a cold?”

“Someone’s just talking about me.”

Sendai-san says dismissively and grabs a manga volume.

✧✧✧✧✧

The usual summons was declined with an unusual message. Thanks to that, I ended up heading to Sendai-san’s house.

“I’m out sick from school, so I can’t today.”

Since we’re in different classes, I didn’t know she was absent, so I just replied, “Got it.” But in my mind, I kept hearing the sneeze from three days ago. If that sneeze from the rainy day caused her absence, she might have been out for a few days. It’s not something I’d normally worry about, but I’ve never seen her miss school before, so I couldn’t help but wonder if she was okay.

And—

It seemed tough to be bedridden in a house where family relations didn’t look great. I don’t know if it’s worse than being sick in an empty house, but it’s definitely not a pleasant situation.

I know going there won’t change anything. But I can bring a bottle of tea or some food. I’m not confident it’ll help, but it’s better than nothing.

I’ve spent over a year with Sendai-san, so visiting her when she’s sick isn’t strange. I have a heart too, and I worry. It’s not unusual. Recalling the path we took during summer break, I head to her house.

I vividly remember our conversations, but since I haven’t been back since, I’m not entirely sure I’m going the right way. I spot the convenience store we stopped at and go inside. I toss a bottle of tea and some yogurt into the basket.

Would she need one of those forehead cooling sheets?

After hesitating, I throw a cooling sheet in too. Considering her relationship with her mom, it feels like she might need it.

I pay and leave the store.

I didn’t contact her, so she might not be home or might not want to see me. Still, my feet don’t stop. After about five minutes, I reach a familiar house.

At the entrance, I regret coming.

I can’t just ring the bell and leave—it would be rude. Stumbling over my words, how I will explain I’m here to check on her, and the door opens. Her mom, whom I saw during summer break, appears and curtly tells me to come in. I thank her and head to Sendai-san’s room, up the stairs to the first of two doors.

I raise my hand to knock but stop.

I’m regretting this more than anything this year.

I came on a whim, but I didn’t contact her. She might be mad I showed up unannounced or refuse to let me in.

I shouldn’t have rung the intercom.

I decide to leave the bag at the door, hanging it on the doorknob. But in my nervousness, the bottle inside hits the door with a loud thunk. It’s loud enough that, while I’m panicking, the door opens.

“…Why’s Miyagi here?”

Sendai-san, in pajamas, asks.

“I was just leaving.”

I turn away.

“Wait, what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry.”

I answer without looking at her and start down the hall. As I head for the stairs, Sendai-san, who must have stepped out, grabs the hem of my uniform. Her grip is weak, probably from the cold, but I can’t just shake off a sick person, so I stop.

“You say don’t worry, but of course I’m curious. There’s no way you’d come to my house for nothing.”

Her cold hasn’t clouded her mind. She notices details I wish she wouldn’t, like the bag I don’t want her to see.

“What’s this? You brought it?”

She points to the bag on the doorknob.

“It’s for you.”

“…Thanks. Wait, does this mean you came to check on me?”

“Not exactly.”

“Not exactly, but you came to my house?”

I came for that reason, but I don’t want to admit it. I stay silent. The unfamiliar hallway grows quiet, and Sendai-san says, exasperated, “Just come in.”

Still holding my uniform, she takes the bag off the doorknob. There’s no refusing her “come in.” With my hem held hostage, I drag my heavy feet into her room and close the door.

Bookshelf, bed, desk.

It’s not messy.

The room hasn’t changed much since summer break, but there’s a large piggy bank on the chest that wasn’t there before—the kind that can hold hundreds of thousands of yen in 500-yen coins.

Looking closely, Sendai-san isn’t wearing makeup today. Her hair isn’t braided either.

But she’s wearing the necklace.

I don’t know if she doesn’t have another at home or if her fever’s gone, but her forehead isn’t cooled.

“Miyagi, sit over there. I’ll grab something.”

“I brought drinks and food in that bag.”

As she places the bag by the bed, I speak, and she checks its contents.

“I’ll get something for you.”

I stop her as she starts to leave.

“You don’t need to. Rest—you’re sick. I’m leaving soon anyway.”

“Soon?”

“I can leave now.”

Thinking I’d leave while she’s out of the room, she sits on the bed.

“I’ve slept too much to sleep more, so stay and talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Then just stay quietly for a bit.”

Sendai-san said softly.

Her voice is the same as always, but in pajamas with no makeup, she looks undeniably sick, and leaving now feels cruel.

“How’s your fever?”

“Still there.”

“You should cool your head. There’s a sheet in the bag.”

I sit a little away from the bed and point to the convenience store bag with the cooling sheet.

“You put it on for me, Miyagi.”

“Do it yourself. Even with a cold, you can manage that.”

“Aren’t you being harsh to a sick person?”

“You’ve got a fever, so harsh is just right.”

I didn’t confirm the word “visit,” but I did come to check on her. Still, I don’t think I need to be overly kind.

“You could listen to me just for today.”

As she says this, Sendai-san tosses the box with the cooling sheet toward me. It arcs through the air and lands in front of me.

“That’s dangerous!”

“Put it on. I’m sick, you know.”

She says it like it’s her right.

Normally, I’d toss the box back and tell her to do it herself.

I want to do that today too, but the person in front of me is, as she said, sick. That makes it hard to act as usual.

If only she looked a bit healthier.

Her voice is hoarse, clearly that of someone with a cold. And since I went and asked about her fever, it’s hard to be cold.

I pick up the box and approach the bed.

“Sit here.”

Sendai-san, sitting on the bed’s edge, pats the spot next to her.

I’m not worried about catching her cold, but I recall what happened in this room during summer break. That day, she licked my leg while I sat on the bed, even without an order.

I don’t think she’d do that now, but it’s reason enough to hesitate about sitting there.

“Miyagi, sit.”

As I waver, her soft tone turns commanding. I could put the sheet on standing, but if I don’t listen, she’ll probably make a fuss. She’s milking her “sick person” status to the fullest today.

Reluctantly, I sit a little away from her on the bed and open the box.

“Turn this way so I can put it on.”

I show her the cooling sheet, and she obediently faces me. But her bangs are in the way. When I reach to lift them, she grabs my hand. It’s hot.

The heat from her hand confirms she’s sick, and I flinch for a moment. She pulls my hand hard, and the cooling sheet falls onto the bed.

The distance between us closes, and our lips collide.

Like her hand, her lips are hotter than usual.

Her tongue slips into my mouth without hesitation.

It’s slick and, as expected, hot, and I can only accept it.

Her body heat narrows my options.

Pushing her shoulders.

Biting her tongue.

My movements are restricted, and I can do nothing.

I can’t refuse her hot tongue probing my mouth.

It entwines with mine, burning.

Her feverish body makes it impossible to complain.

Her gripping hand, touching lips, soft tongue—all so hot I can’t escape.

I want her to pull away.

Yet, it’s not entirely unpleasant.

Her heat clouds my judgment.

I don’t intend to respond to her moving tongue, but I don’t want to push it out either. Our overlapping lips feel good, and I lose track of how long we’ve been kissing. My sense of time vanishes, and my mind is filled with Sendai-san.

I can’t breathe properly; it’s suffocating.

When I escape her hand and grab her pajamas, she slowly pulls away. I almost tug her pajamas but cover it up by voicing a complaint.

“…That was absolutely not the time for a kiss.”

“You came close.”

“You made me come close. You dropped the cooling sheet, and don’t do anything else, Sendai-san. That kind of kiss feels gross.”

I was an idiot for listening to her because she’s sick. The moment I show a bit of kindness, she does this. I didn’t hate it that much, but I don’t want to let her kiss me anymore.

“Say it a bit softer. That hurts.”

“I won’t. If it hurts, don’t do stuff like that again.”

“…Are you seriously mad?”

I don’t think my tone was harsh. But her voice, usually unbothered by my anger or bad mood, carries a hint of anxiety. Maybe the fever’s making her timid.

This version of her throws me off. Her words make me feel like I did something wrong.

I said the kiss felt gross, but that’s a lie—I’ve gotten used to kisses like that. Maybe I went too far with a sick person. I won’t take it back, but I’ll deny her words.

“I’m not mad, but I’m in a bad mood.”

“Then a trade-off. You can give me an order.”

“What’s with the ‘then’? I’m not ordering anything.”

“Why not?”

“Do I look like the kind of jerk who’d order a sick person around?”

I have things I’d order, but I’m not heartless enough to command someone with a fever. Compared to Sendai-san, who’s exploiting her sick status, I’m a decent person, and I think it’s okay to indulge her a little right now.

“I’m fine with you being a jerk, Miyagi.”

“Stop saying weird stuff and go to bed.”

I push her shoulder, but she doesn’t lie down and lets out a small cough.

“See, your cold’s getting worse. Sleep.”

“I don’t want to.”

She says, coughing.

“Normally, if you’re coughing like that with a cold, you wouldn’t kiss someone. If I catch it, it’s your fault.”

“I kissed you to pass it on, so catch it, Miyagi.”

Sendai-san says something unbelievable and tugs my sleeve.

“That’s harsh, isn’t it? I don’t want to catch a cold and be stuck in bed alone.”

She’s always hard to read, but with a fever, she’s even more incomprehensible today. A normal person wouldn’t say they want to pass on a cold, and I’ve never heard anything like that before.

“I’ll come take care of you.”

“No thanks.”

“Don’t be shy. How about I stay over and nurse you?”

“No way I’d let you stay. I don’t know what you’d do. Just sleep.”

She’s not listening to me today.

I don’t want her forcing her caregiving on me or staying over. She probably wouldn’t actually stay, but even as a joke, I should avoid things that could cause trouble.

“Miyagi, if I sleep, you’ll leave, right?”

She says in a rare, sulky tone.

I swallow a sigh.

I can’t be too harsh, and dealing with a sick person is a bit of a hassle.

“Staying until you sleep is kind enough, don’t you think?”

“Be kinder to a sick person.”

“Kinder than this?”

“Yeah.”

“If you want me to be that kind, stop doing unnecessary things.”

“You wouldn’t be kind even if I didn’t, right?”

That’s unfair.

I think I’m being kind today, even to a Sendai-san who’s done unnecessary things. But that won’t get through to her now. I pick up the dropped cooling sheet, take the yogurt and spoon from the bag, and hand them to her.

“Eat this and behave.”

“…Thanks.”

She takes the yogurt obediently, peels off the lid, and eats a spoonful or two.

“Miyagi, stay a bit longer. It’ll make my cold go away faster.”

“I’m not cold medicine.”

“I know.”

“Stop saying dumb stuff. Eat and sleep.”

“I told you, I’ve slept too much to sleep.”

“Then sleep anyway.”

“If you kiss me, I’ll sleep.”

Her hand, holding the yogurt, stops.

She sets the spoon down and brushes her fingertips over my lips.

Her body heat is unchanged.

Still hot.

The heat from her fingertips feels pleasant. Wanting more, I grab the fingers brushing my lips. I start to lean in but let out a small sigh.

“Sendai-san, you’re getting too full of yourself. You don’t have to sleep, but lie down.”

I take the half-eaten yogurt and place it on the table.

It’s easy to misunderstand when she casually asks for a kiss, but that’s not why I came here. I pull the cooling sheet from the box and stick it on Sendai-san’s forehead, despite her complaining expression.

“Cold.”

“It’d be defective if it were warm.”

“Fair enough.”

“And if you don’t sleep, I’m leaving.”

I declare in a voice not as cold as the cooling sheet, and Sendai-san thinks for a moment before saying, “Then.” It doesn’t sound promising.

Still, I ask, “What?” and a quiet voice replies.

“Hold my hand, and I’ll sleep.”

“Your hand?”

“Yeah.”

“…That’s fine, I guess.”

Compared to a kiss, it’s a tame request, so I agree. Seemingly satisfied, Sendai-san lies down. She holds out her hand expectantly, and I place mine over it.

“Is holding hands even fun?”

Sitting on the bed’s edge, gripping her still-hot hand, I ask, and she squeezes back.

“Pretty fun.”

With that, Sendai-san slowly closes her eyes.