Volume 4 Episode 02

To be perfectly honest, I think she is being far too accommodating.

Miyagi taking the initiative to kiss me— I never expected anything like that.

I gently stroke Miyagi’s hair as she stays quietly in my arms. The sweet scent of her shampoo fills the air, and even though I have taken off my blazer and undone two buttons of my blouse, the room that was already warm feels even hotter.

“I thought the one just now was perfectly proper.”

My blouse is tugged along with a small voice.

When I loosen my arms, Miyagi lifts her face from my shoulder.

During summer break, I was the one who brought up tutoring. So for winter break, I thought Miyagi should be the one to say she wanted to meet me, but I never imagined she would ask me to teach her in exchange for a kiss. The most I had imagined was her saying, with a bored expression, that I should teach her during winter break as well.

“It wasn’t proper.”

I pull her body back a little and deny her words.

“Where wasn’t it?”

“If you don’t know, should I teach you?”

I stroke her lips and push my thumb just slightly into her mouth.

My fingertip touches her teeth and then the tip of her tongue. The moment it does, my shoulder is pushed and I silently withdraw my finger. Miyagi seems to understand the meaning and makes a troubled face.

“...Sendai-san, this is an exchange condition, okay?”

She says it as if to hammer the point in.

I am the only one leaning too far toward Miyagi.

That is why I thought I should correct the way I am leaning, but that was a mistake. A balance that has already collapsed is better off being broken even further rather than restored. If Miyagi leans the same way—no, even more than me—then balance no longer matters.

“I know.”

When I answer, Miyagi lets out a small breath. Then she grabs my arm and slowly brings her face closer. When I keep looking at her, she glares as if telling me to close my eyes. I don't want to make her angry, so I close them. Immediately something soft touches my lips, and her grip on my arm tightens.

After a short pause, Miyagi’s tongue timidly slips into my mouth and lightly touches mine.

Sweet.

I think it tastes like the sweets we ate earlier. But the kiss being sweet might simply be my imagination, and maybe I am the only one who feels that way. I never thought Miyagi would give me this kind of kiss without complaining, and I never expected my request for “more” to be accepted, so maybe my senses are going strange.

I extend my tongue slightly.

It lightly bumps against hers.

I want to touch her more.

But nothing more happens.

Her tongue retreats as if running away.

“Is this good enough?”

Miyagi says without meeting my eyes.

I do not think it is bad.

Miyagi does not kiss as a joke, and she dislikes this kind of kiss so much she once bit my tongue. Considering that, I know I should accept this level.

But I do not want it to end here.

“I think the one just now wasn’t enough.”

Today, it feels like she would listen even if I am a bit more selfish.

“I did what you said.”

“That means it still wasn’t proper.”

This is nothing but quibbling, pure nitpicking.

Miyagi looks dissatisfied, but that is only natural.

“That’s just your standard, Sendai-san.”

“If it’s an exchange condition, shouldn’t you follow my standard?”

“...Maybe, but.”

Normally she would complain that it is unfair or that I am adding conditions afterward, but today’s Miyagi is surprisingly meek.

Come teach me during winter break.

She cannot push too hard if she wants that small wish to come true.

“Miyagi, it’s fine, right?”

Even if she says no, I have no intention of listening, so before she can speak I cover her lips with mine.

I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her close. The lips that are usually firmly closed are slightly parted, and without resistance I find her tongue. Unlike that other time, she does not bite; I can touch her easily.

The first kiss alone would have been more than enough for the exchange, yet because she gave me an opening, this is what happens.

I catch her tongue that does not seem to know where to go and intertwine mine with it. This time she does not try to escape; Miyagi pushes back. Soft and springy, and still sweet. When I pull my tongue back a little, Miyagi chases after it, and I lightly bite her tongue, gentler than biting fudge. Our lips feel so hot they might melt. I forget how to breathe and feel dizzy.

I separate our lips and push Miyagi down.

Her back hits the bed with surprising ease.

When I bring my face close, the eyes that had been open shut again, and I kiss her deeply once more.

Perhaps the “proper kiss” condition is still in effect, because when I extend my tongue, Miyagi responds. The tips touch, separate, and our breathing grows steadily rougher.

I undo the buttons of Miyagi’s blazer and loosen her tie. My shoulders are pushed hard and my face pulled away. Our eyes meet; she looks like she wants to say something, but she stays silent. When I undo all the buttons of her blouse and touch her side, she finally opens her mouth.

“This isn’t a kiss.”

Miyagi says this as she tries to steady her slightly disturbed breathing, and she grabs my hand on her side.

“Because Miyagi didn’t give me a proper kiss, I added this to the exchange condition too.”

“Don’t decide that on your own.”

With a low voice, she removes my hand from her side. But right now, I can cast the magic spell that works only on today’s Miyagi.

“You want me to teach you during winter break, don’t you?”

I whisper into her ear as she tries to button her blouse again, and her hands stop moving. This time, even when I stroke her side, she does not grab my hand.

The magic that works only today is extremely effective.

“Adding conditions afterward is unfair.”

“You added conditions afterward last time too, Miyagi.”

When I hugged her in the music preparation room, she added a condition later.

“That may be true, but this is going way too far.”

“Yeah. I too think it’s going too far.”

Miyagi’s voice cannot be called good-humored by any stretch, but she does not bite or kick me, so she cannot be that against it. If she really wanted me to stop, I would already have been bitten and kicked.

That is why, even though I know it is too much, I cannot stop.

“If you seriously tell me you hate it, I’ll stop, so tell me. How far will you let me go today?”

During summer break she allowed me to go a little further. So what about today?

I slowly slide the hand resting on her side.

When I stroke upward as if counting her ribs from below, Miyagi’s body trembles slightly. As if to hide it, her hand reaches out and grabs my shoulder. But her grip is weak, and I understand that she is allowing me to continue. When I look at Miyagi, her cheeks are faintly flushed. I want to kiss her, but if I do it now I feel like she might change her mind, so I cannot. It is not the same as summer, when we touched as if feverish.

Because the impurity called “exchange condition” has mixed in, we cannot move forward driven only by emotion as we did that day; we are both searching for a compromise.

I did not intend it, but little by little, step by step, I touch her slowly, feeling my way.

I slide my fingertips over skin that feels as smooth as silk.

I stop my hand just below her chest and exhale.

When I touch her breast over her underwear, Miyagi’s body moves slightly.

But I do not hear the word “stop.” In summer we were interrupted by the intercom, but today it will not ring.

My heart is pounding loudly.

Only my palm feels strangely hot.

It is an act far removed from the exchange condition, but I do not want to be stopped. Wanting to touch her body more, I gently slip my hand behind her back.

Miyagi does not grab that hand.

So I undo the hook and shift the underwear covering her chest. A modest swell becomes slightly visible, and Miyagi’s body stiffens.

The room lights are still on.

The air conditioner keeps blowing warm air, dulling my thoughts as I hesitate whether to look up. I want to know what expression she has right now, but if I look at her face I feel like I will not be able to continue, so I cannot raise my gaze. I take a small breath in and out, then push her bra upward, and immediately a breast that is not large but beautifully shaped is fully exposed. I have seen other people’s breasts at hot springs or on school trips. Of course, back then I felt nothing in particular.

But now it is different.

I want to touch Miyagi’s breast.

I feel that strongly.

It is probably not much different from the feel of my own chest.

Even so, I want to touch it.

I slowly bring my hand toward her breast.

I feel her body heat on my fingertips.

Or at least I think I do.

The reason it becomes such a vague way of putting it is that before I can properly confirm the sensation—no, before I can even be sure I have really touched her—Miyagi pulls me toward her and hugs me tightly.

Having lost my balance, instead of touching her chest I end up placing my hand on the bed to support myself, and because Miyagi presses her body against mine with no space between us, I cannot move.

She always does things I never expect.

This room is always warm, and I have taken off my blazer today too. That means the only thing separating Miyagi and me is a blouse, so her body heat feels close. I can also feel the sensation of our bodies pressed together far more than necessary.

Why am I still wearing a blouse?

I end up thinking something that stupid; the thin blouse feels like a nuisance.

If there were no clothes, I could feel Miyagi’s body even more. Wanting to touch her directly, I poke her side, and something warm and soft touches my neck, immediately followed by something hard stabbing into me.

“Ouch!”

A voice escapes involuntarily.

There is no need to check; what is on my neck is teeth, and the pain is from being bitten. Miyagi is probably biting without holding back. As proof, my neck burns with pain.

“Miyagi, wait. If you bite too hard you’ll leave a mark.”

When I repeatedly slap her side, I am finally released from the pain.

“You perverted demon, Sendai-san. Pervert, creep.”

“Wait, perverted demon?”

“Because that’s what you are. I never said you could look or touch.”

She digs her nails sharply into my back.

“Ow, that hurts.”

“It’s your fault, Sendai-san. I never allowed anything like what you just did.”

“But—”

I start to say that she did not resist, then close my mouth. If I say that, Miyagi will get even angrier.

“What?”

“Nothing, and I won’t do anything more, so let go.”

“...Really?”

“Really. I absolutely won’t do anything.”

When I declare it firmly, the arms around my back loosen. My body regains its freedom, and I move slightly away from Miyagi. My gaze naturally drifts downward and almost lands on her chest, but before it clearly comes into view, Miyagi’s hand blocks it.

“Don’t look. Close your eyes just once.”

Miyagi covers my eyes and speaks in an irritated voice.

“Closed.”

When I do as I’m told, the hand covering my eyes is removed.

“Go far away and keep facing the other way.”

If I opened my eyes now, I feel like I’d be kicked out of the room, so I sit up with my eyes still closed and turn my back to her. In the darkness behind my eyelids, I have no desire to move around, so I stay close, though I can’t see what Miyagi is doing.

Perhaps because I’m facing away and staying still, she doesn’t complain.

Behind me, I sense Miyagi moving around busily, and even without looking I can tell she’s fixing her clothes.

“Is it okay yet?”

I ask after waiting for about three minutes.

“No. Stay facing that way forever.”

She sounds in a bad mood, and her curt voice reaches me. Then my back is hit by something that feels like a pillow.

“You won’t say it’s not enough after coming this far, right? You absolutely have to keep the promise.”

Miyagi speaks in the most displeased voice she’s used today.

I touch my neck.

It hurts.

My neck hurts so much that it wouldn’t be strange if a mark remained.

But right now my thoughts are drawn to the things still lingering in my memory — the sweet tip of her tongue from earlier, the beautiful breast I saw.

Of course, if I said I wanted to kiss more or touch more, I’d get more than just bitten, so I have no intention of asking for that.

“I’ll keep the promise. During winter break, call me on whatever day you like, Miyagi. I have prep school, so I can’t spare much time, but I’ll come teach you.”

I know I have no right to ask for anything more, and I genuinely want to study with Miyagi during winter break just like we did in the summer.

“So, Miyagi. Can I turn around now?”

“Absolutely not. If you turn around, I’ll never speak to you again.”

Miyagi says something childish, like a child would.

“But there’s something I want you to check.”

“I’m not checking.”

A firm voice comes from behind me.

From that voice alone, I can tell she absolutely won’t listen. Even so, I can’t keep my back turned to Miyagi forever, so I decide to give a reason that will let me turn around naturally.

“Miyagi, you bit me pretty hard, right? It feels like there’s a mark, so take a quick look.”

“No way.”

“If you don’t look, I’ll tell everyone at school that Miyagi bit me when they see the mark.”

“We promised not to talk at school about what happens here.”

“That’s true, but if there’s a mark in such a visible place as my neck, people will definitely ask. And if they ask, I’ll have no choice but to answer.”

“......Where is it? Show me.”

Miyagi probably doesn’t think I would actually say anything at school, but she asks in a reluctant tone.

“Here.”

I quietly turn toward Miyagi and point to the place where I was bitten. Miyagi moves just a little closer, then says “Ah” in a small voice.

“Ah?”

“There really is a mark.”

She doesn’t look apologetic, but her voice is gloomy.

“As I thought.”

“But it’ll probably disappear soon, and even if it doesn’t, if you button up all the way it shouldn’t be visible.”

Saying that, Miyagi forcefully fastens my blouse buttons all the way to the top.

“I think it’s still visible, though.”

The spot Miyagi bit wasn’t in a good place.

Even with the top button fastened, it probably won’t be hidden.

“It’ll be gone by tomorrow morning.”

She doesn’t sound confident at all, but since I haven’t seen the mark myself, I can’t say she’s wrong. I could look in a mirror, but even if I did, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell whether it will disappear, so there’s no point. All I can do is hope, as she says, that it will be gone by tomorrow morning.

“You can bite me, but only hard enough that it doesn’t leave a mark.”

I let out a small sigh and undo two of the buttons she fastened.

It’s not that hot, but having the top button closed makes me restless. And since the mark won’t be hidden anyway, and the only person here is Miyagi, it doesn’t matter if it’s visible.

“It’s your fault, Sendai-san.”

Miyagi answers without looking at me.

“Well, yeah, it is.”

No matter how I think about it, the fault lies with me.

I think it’s only natural for Miyagi to blame me. 

And I understand why Miyagi won’t look at me.

But studying while preserving this awkward atmosphere would be uncomfortable, even more uncomfortable than it was after summer break. The impure feelings swirling inside me only make it worse.

“Right. I was supposed to give something to Miyagi.”

Unable to bear the stagnant air, I get off the bed.

It’s not a lie that I have something to give her.

I take a bag from my school bag — something too big for one hand but small enough to hold with both — and hand it to Miyagi, who is still sitting on the bed. 

“It’s a little early, but here. This is for you.”

“......What is this?”

“You’ll understand when you look.”

The bag is decorated in red and green, with a red ribbon tied around it.

At this time of year, not many people would see this color scheme and think of nothing. Miyagi should know what it is too.

“A Christmas present?”

“Yes. And it also serves as a return gift for this.”

I pull out the chain of the pendant with the little moon-shaped ornament and show it to Miyagi. She gave this to me some time after the cultural festival had ended. It’s practically a collar, clearly marking ownership.

“I think I said I didn’t need anything in return.”

“I remember. But I already bought it. Just open it for now. If you don’t want it, you can throw it away.”

Miyagi stares at the bag in her hand as if trying to bore a hole through it, then unties the ribbon. She pulls out the contents and frowns.

A black cat plush toy that somewhat resembles Miyagi.

It wasn’t chosen for positive reasons like thinking she would be happy or that she would like it. If anything, it came from negative thinking.

We’ve spent quite a long time together, yet I couldn’t think of anything suitable to give her as a present. The only thing I knew for sure was that if I gave her something extravagant, she would definitely refuse it, so in the end I chose something that wouldn’t shock me too much even if she rejected it.

It might get thrown away.

That thought had crossed my mind.

I don’t think Miyagi is the type of person who would throw away a gift, but I wasn’t confident enough to believe she would treat me the same as everyone else. I couldn’t be sure that what I gave her wouldn’t end up in the trash.

“Why a plush toy?”

Holding the black cat that had been trapped in the bag, Miyagi asks without looking particularly pleased.

“I thought that crocodile might want a friend.”

I point to the tissue cover on the floor.

“You mean food, right?”

“I said friend. Don’t feed it to him.”

“I haven’t prepared any Christmas present, you know.”

Miyagi gets off the bed and sits down on the floor with a plop, placing the black cat on the crocodile’s back. The white tissue sticking out of the crocodile’s body crumples, becoming a cushion for the black cat.

I feel relieved that the black cat has found a peaceful home without meeting a tragic end.

“It also counts as a return for the pendant, and if I got another present from you, it would get complicated.”

“That wasn’t a present.”

Miyagi says this while looking at the pendant.

“Yeah, yeah.”

I look at the crocodile with the black cat riding on its back.

No matter how long I stare, I can’t tell whether the crocodile is happy to have gained a friend. And even more than that, I can’t tell whether Miyagi is happy.

She accepted it, so that’s fine.

A Christmas present isn’t something to overthink. I just felt like giving her something casually.

I switch gears and sit beside Miyagi.

Then a small voice comes from next to me.

“But, well... thanks.”

Hearing the rare thank-you, I turn to look at Miyagi.

But without meeting my eyes, she opens her textbook on the table.

“Let’s study.”

It doesn’t mean what happened on the bed never happened, and there’s still a faint space between us, but the purely awkward atmosphere has disappeared. Still, rather than continuing to talk and risking saying something unnecessary, it’s better to study quietly.

I lower my gaze to my textbook.

But soon, I become aware of the person beside me and glance at Miyagi.

When I reach out my hand, it feels as though the temperature around her alone has dropped just a little.

It’s better not to hope for anything more today, and better not to say anything.

I understand that in my head.

But it seems the nerves between my head and my mouth are disconnected.

I poke Miyagi’s upper arm with my pen even though she won’t look at me.

“Hey, Miyagi. Can I add a condition to the promise from earlier?”

“About winter break?”

“Yes. It’s just one condition.”

“After doing whatever you wanted, there’s no way that’s okay. That’s already plenty. There’s barely any time to meet during winter break anyway, and you’re adding too many conditions.”

Miyagi looks up from her textbook and speaks in a voice full of thorns, then throws her eraser at me.

“On the days I come here during winter break, let me kiss you.”

“I never said you could add conditions.”

“It’s fine, just saying it.”

I rub the spot that probably has a mark and place the rolling eraser on Miyagi’s notebook.

“Is that the only condition?”

A small voice comes from beside me.

“Yes.”

“...If I say no, you won’t teach me, right?”

“Does that mean yes?”

“It’s not yes, but you’ll keep the promise to teach me, right?”

She says this in a voice with even more thorns, and turns the page of her textbook. It’s not a clear answer, but it seems the optional condition has been accepted. I’m a little surprised, since I didn’t expect Miyagi to care so much about winter break. I almost think I misheard her.

But I don’t ask again. Before Miyagi can declare that she won’t allow any more conditions, I reply briefly with “Of course” and end the topic.

“I’ll contact you on the days I want you to teach me.”

Miyagi says while looking at her textbook.

“Fine, but I’d like to know the day before.”

“Got it.”

“And I don’t need the five thousand yen.”

“Huh?”

Miyagi looks up and stares at me.

“I already received payment for teaching earlier. Unlike the summer break tutoring, this time it’s an exchange condition.”

“...That’s true, but.”

“Then it’s settled."

Nothing more comes from beside me. Miyagi looks dissatisfied but seems to accept it, and I drink the tea that has gone completely cold.