Volume 6 Episode 02

"Shiori, is it really okay if you don't go home?"

Across the table, Maika shifts her gaze from her smartphone to me.

"Yeah."

Even though several days have passed since I started staying at Maika's house, she never tried to kick me out and always looks after me kindly.

I can't keep depending on a Maika like this forever.

It would be better to go home soon.

I know that well.

But today as well, I don't want to go home.

On Monday, the awkwardness from Sunday's events had been the only reason I escaped here, but now it's different. The time I've spent not returning is making it harder and harder to face her with every passing day.

"I think the person you fought with is quite worried, though."

"I know that."

Today as well, a message came from Sendai-san asking when I'd come back. Every message from her that arrives on my smartphone clearly shows she's worried about me, and each time I see one I think I have to return. And I can't help wondering how Sendai-san is spending her days without me.

She's probably going to university as usual, attending lectures, and talking with friends, and that's how it should be. But I also find myself thinking it would be nice if she became a little different from usual. Even the tutoring job she was supposed to have today, I think it'd be good if she took a break from it.

I hate myself for thinking that way, and there's a part of me that feels I should go home soon, yet because I can't return I end up hating myself even more. I know I can't cause Maika any more trouble, but I also hate myself for only being able to act in ways that cause trouble.

"Is it really just a fight if you're not coming home like this?"

Maika stares at me intently.

"Just a fight."

Once you tell one lie, you have to tell many more lies to protect it. When I consider the weight of the lies I've already piled up on Maika and the weight of the lies I'll have to pile up from now on, I probably should at least tell her that my roommate is Sendai-san. But it's extremely difficult to bring up and convey just that part.

"Shiori."

"What?"

"...Don't you have something to tell me?"

Maika says in an unusually serious voice.

"I don't, but why?"

I drink the orange juice along with a new lie.

"It's nothing. Well, you should properly make up with her."

"Yeah."

I know the current situation isn't good. I also know that if I leave it like this, my relationship with Sendai-san might break.

In high school, Sendai-san was the one who held together the relationship that seemed like it was about to fall apart.

After I covered her in popcorn and poured cider on her.

After I tried to kiss her and sent her away.

Sendai-san forcibly shortened the distance I had created.

But this time, I have to shorten the distance I created myself.

Even if it's impossible today, I should return tomorrow.

I think so.

I take a sip of the orange juice and pick up my smartphone. I try to send a message to Sendai-san, but my fingers won't move. While I remain unable to type even the few characters saying I'll return tomorrow, the intercom rings and Maika stands up.

"Ah, they're here. I'll step out for a bit, so Shiori, stay there."

I feel a sense of discomfort at Maika's words, as if she'd been waiting for someone.

I didn't order any delivery, and it's not the time for a courier to arrive.

"...A friend?"

"Maybe they'll become one from now on."

Not a friend now, but someone who might become a friend starting from now.

I can't imagine who the visitor is. Besides, it's not the kind of hour for someone who isn't that close to come over.

Because the room has no partitions, I can see the entrance if I shift my body even a little. Curious about who has come, I start to lift myself up, and then a familiar voice reaches my ears.

"I'll return right away so here is fine."

I stand up without thinking.

Beyond Maika, I see the face I didn't want to see yet wanted to see.

"If we talk at the entrance it'll disturb the neighbors, so come in."

"...Then, excuse me for intruding."

Why.

How.

It's impossible for Sendai-san to come here.

My hands and feet grow cold.

"Miyagi, I came to pick you up."

Sendai-san smiles.

"Maika, why?"

In a situation that makes absolutely no sense, I look at Maika, who welcomed Sendai-san in as if it were the most natural thing.

"I met Sendai-san at university, so I told her she should come to my house."

"...Eh?"

I don't understand the meaning.

Why would Sendai-san and Maika meet at university?

And from there, how did it turn into an invitation to come here?

I don't understand at all.

But if I say something carelessly, it seems like the things that mustn't be revealed will come out, and I don't know what I should say.

No, the fact that Sendai-san came here probably means that at least one thing that should never have been revealed has already been exposed.

I don’t know what happened or how things ended up like this, but I should assume that the connection between me and Sendai-san has been discovered. If possible, I want to escape from here right now, but Sendai-san and Maika are blocking the way to the entrance.

“Because Miyagi wasn’t coming back no matter how long I waited. I went to the university to look for her, and I happened to run into Utsunomiya, and that’s how things turned out like this.”

“Turned out like this......”

This is troubling.

This kind of situation is extremely troubling.

My head refuses to think, as if the switch has been turned off, and it also refuses to accept this situation.

“Sendai-san said she was looking for Shiori at the university, so I called out to her and brought her along. I don’t know what happened, but you should talk it out, right?”

Maika says it as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I try to piece together the information they’re giving me little by little, but it doesn’t connect very well. The only thing I can understand is the unacceptable fact that two people who should never be together are here.

Together.

“......Maika, you didn’t say a single word about Sendai-san coming, did you?”

“I asked her to keep quiet about it. Miyagi, if you’d heard that I was coming, you’d disappear, right?”

Of course.

If I’d known Sendai-san was coming, I wouldn’t be here, and even now I want to escape from this place.

It’s terrible that she predicted my actions and Sendai-san asked her to stay silent.

I don’t know how much has been revealed, but if possible, I wanted to tell Maika myself.

I don’t know when that would’ve been.

“Let’s talk about the details at home, so why don’t we go back for now?”

Sendai-san says it with her smile still in place.

I’d been thinking that I should go back, but my head can’t keep up with the situation. While I remain unable to move my body, Sendai-san comes closer. Then she grabs my arm.

“Yah!”

I instinctively try to push her away with a harsh tone, but I swallow my words. This is Maika’s house, and Maika is watching.

If I refuse strongly like I usually do, I don’t know what Maika would say.

“Why don’t we sit down and talk instead of just standing around?”

Maika speaks in a gentle voice, as if trying to ease the delicate atmosphere between me and Sendai-san, then sits down and continues.

“Even so, Shiori, you’re terrible. Lying about living with a relative. And when I asked that you were close with Sendai-san in high school, you said it wasn’t good. That was a lie too.”

“......Sorry.”

Even though she calls it terrible, Maika’s voice is kind, but her words pierce deeply into my chest.

At the very least, it seems that the fact that Sendai-san is my roommate has been revealed. I want to know what else Sendai-san told her, but when I think about the lies I told Maika, I should apologize first. I think I should apologize to her as many times as necessary. But because the lies were exposed in such an unexpected way, and an unexpected person is here, the words won’t come out smoothly.

“Well, I’ve got a mountain of things I want to say, but I’ll ask about them another time. So for now, sit down.”

Unable to go against Maika’s words, I obediently sit down. Sendai-san also quietly sits down diagonally in front of me, and Maika deliberately clears her throat.

“Now then, you two make up right here.”

“Eh?”

The conversation moves in a direction I never expected again, and a voice slips out of me unintentionally.

“It’s not ‘eh.’ Shiori, you had a fight with Sendai-san, right?”

When she says it to confirm, I remember the lie I told and nod.

“The reason I called Sendai-san here is to make you two reconcile, so talk or do whatever you need to do and properly shake hands, then go home together.”

“Eh, shake hands?”

This time Sendai-san says it in a surprised voice.

“That was a joke, but get along and go home together. It’d be troublesome if Shiori stays here any longer.”

Maika looks at me and smiles.

Somehow a harmonious mood forms, and my feelings calm down a little, but there’s also an atmosphere that feels like it could break at any moment, which makes it a bit scary.

“You two, I don’t mind if the discussion takes a long time. For now, Sendai-san, would you like something to drink?”

“Thanks. But I’m planning to head back soon, so maybe not. If I want some, I’ll take Miyagi’s.”

“I won’t give it to you.”

I declare this and pull the glass with the half-finished orange juice closer to me. Then Sendai-san says, “I’ll take a sip,” as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and drinks my orange juice. Normally I’d complain, but I can’t say anything in front of Maika, so I hold it in.

“Utsunomiya, you’re quite the forceful type, huh?”

Sendai-san puts down the glass and looks at Maika.

"Usually it's not like this, but this time I have no choice but to push hard, right? There are way too many things I haven't been told, and I don't understand any of it. I was the one who called Sendai-san over myself, but seriously, what kind of situation is this? If I told my high school self that these people would end up gathering at my house, she definitely wouldn't believe it."

"No one could've predicted a situation like this, right?"

In response to Sendai-san's words, Maika replies "Yeah," and I feel like clutching my head at this unreal scene. Even though this situation was created by my own lies, it still isn't something I wanted to see.

"Miyagi. Aren't you going home today? If there's something you want to say, I'll listen when we're at home."

This subtly awkward atmosphere that looks harmonious but isn't continues, and I can't stand it, but I also can't say that I'm going home.

"Shiori. You don't have to go home, but if you're staying over again tonight, I'll bombard you with questions until morning."

"See? Miyagi, what are you going to do?"

An ultimate binary choice suddenly appears, and while feeling Maika's gaze on me, I gulp down the orange juice.

"......I'm going home."

When I say the one choice I have no option but to make, Sendai-san stands up.

"Thanks, Utsunomiya. You really helped me out."

Maika answers "Don't worry about it" and hands me my luggage. Since I've made my choice, I can't avoid going home, so I stand up as well.

"I'll head home for today. Can I contact you again?"

Sendai-san says it in a friendly tone, and Maika answers "Sure" in the same friendly way. I don't know if they've actually become close or if it's only on the surface, but it doesn't feel very pleasant. It feels like Sendai-san has been taken away by Maika, and it also feels like Maika has been taken away by Sendai-san.

With that unsettled feeling, I head toward the entrance together with Sendai-san. Sendai-san thanks Maika once more and puts on her shoes. I also tell Maika, "Sorry for staying over for so many days, and thank you." Sendai-san steps outside, and when I try to leave while holding my bag, my clothes are tugged as Maika calls out, "Shiori."

"I'm not asking today, but later you need to properly tell me why you're living with Sendai-san."

If possible, I wish she wouldn't ask for the rest of my life.

That's what I think, but there's no way something like that would ever be allowed.

"......Understood."

I force the words I don't want to say out of my throat, then step outside.

✧✧✧✧✧

For the first time in several days, I'm walking the path I used to walk with Maika, but now it's with Sendai-san.

There's probably no day where the phrase self-inflicted fits better than today.

The streetlights illuminate the road at night, but the words Maika said right before I left keep flickering in my mind, making it feel like I'm walking along a path without any light. I know it's my fault for lying, but I can't help complaining.

"Sendai-san, what was that about?"

"What?"

"You told Maika that I'm living with you, right?"

"I did, but I didn't have a choice but to say it."

"We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about us."

"That promise was limited to our high school days."

Sendai-san says it without looking at me.

Even though she's walking right beside me, her eyes are reflecting something other than me.

"Even if it was limited, telling her on your own that we're living together is cruel."

I know I'm just taking it out on her, but when I think about the next time I meet Maika, the words slip out of my mouth on their own.

"I think you're the cruel one, Miyagi. No matter how long I waited, you never came back, and you didn't contact me about where you were going. You almost completely ignored the messages I sent. It wouldn't be strange for me to get worried and go looking for you, right? Besides, you said it yourself, Miyagi. You said you told Utsunomiya about us living together. So after hearing that, it wouldn't be strange for me to ask Utsunomiya about where you were, would it?"

Sendai-san's argument is correct.

About who the roommate is.

Since I told Sendai-san that I had properly informed Maika, there's no fault with Sendai-san for acting based on that. However, Sendai-san probably didn't think that I had actually told Maika the truth. She must've predicted that I was lying, so I think she could've chosen not to mention that we were living together when talking to Maika. Of course, no matter what excuses I come up with, I'm still the one in the wrong.

Blaming Sendai-san is wrong.

I know that.

I shouldn't complain, and I shouldn't blame her either.

In that case, the only thing left is to bring up the thing I intended to do but couldn't.

"I was planning to go back even if Sendai-san hadn't come looking for me."

"When was that?"

"Tomorrow."

I couldn't put it into action, but I really did think about it.

"There was no message about that."

Sendai-san murmurs quietly.

Just as expected, she still doesn't look at me.

She keeps walking with her gaze lowered.

It doesn't sound like an angry voice, but as usual she doesn't look at me.

I also find it difficult to face Sendai-san, so I feel relieved that she isn't looking this way. But at the same time, I'm a little disappointed that Sendai-san isn't looking at me.

"Sendai-san came before I could contact you."

"If you intended to contact me at all, you should've done it sooner. I've been waiting the entire time."

"......Sorry."

I finally manage to say the words I should’ve said right after leaving Maika’s house, but Sendai-san doesn’t look at me. Still staring hard at the ground, she replies, “Sorry for telling Utsunomiya about me and Miyagi.”

Her voice sounds unusually weak for her.

I’d thought I was the only one feeling awkward, but maybe Sendai-san feels the same way. Even so, the reason we’re able to keep the conversation going is thanks to Maika, who lit things up like a streetlight. Because she kept the talk moving in a bright way, it didn’t become too heavy.

“...Why did you come looking for me all the way to the university?”

I know she was worried, but I can’t stop myself from asking.

“Because Miyagi wasn’t coming back, like I said earlier.”

Sendai-san speaks in a low, quiet voice.

Sure enough, she keeps looking down and doesn’t meet my eyes, so I can’t clearly see her expression. If I grabbed her arm and called “Sendai-san,” she might look at me, but the thought of what would happen if she didn’t makes me lose my nerve. Without even knowing whether stars are shining in the night sky, we walk toward the station.

“You didn’t have to call out to Maika.”

I voice my complaint without turning toward Sendai-san, and a quiet reply comes back.

“Because I met Utsunomiya before I met Miyagi, it couldn’t be helped. I knew it was wrong, but I wasn’t in a good state either, and if Miyagi wasn’t there, I had no choice but to speak to Utsunomiya.”

“...Did you talk about anything besides the fact that we live together?”

“The story about borrowing money from Miyagi at the bookstore. Also, Utsunomiya didn’t know we were living together, so she asked why we were living together. For the time being I answered that it’s because we’re friends. I told her to ask Miyagi for the details, so Utsunomiya might ask you something.”

Sendai-san says something far too irresponsible and takes two steps ahead.

I instinctively grab her clothes.

It’s my own fault that Maika will question me about my relationship with Sendai-san, but I never expected Sendai-san to dump the entire explanation on me without saying anything herself.

“It’s not just that she might ask. Maika already told me earlier to explain why I’m living with Sendai-san. What am I supposed to say?”

“Didn’t you tell Utsunomiya anything back in high school?”

Sendai-san, who’s moved two steps ahead, keeps walking while I hold onto her clothes.

“There’s no way I would’ve said anything. We promised not to tell anyone about what happened after school, right?”

“It seemed like Utsunomiya thought we weren’t even friends, so actually, didn’t you tell her at least a little?”

“Did you talk to your friends about me, Sendai-san?”

“Even without a promise, there’s no way I could talk about it.”

When I say exactly what I’d been thinking, Sendai-san lets out a long breath.

Then she stops walking.

I release the clothes I’d been holding.

The two steps between us feel far and unsteady.

Even though I didn’t call her name, Sendai-san looks at me.

Under the streetlight, her usual neat and well-shaped face appears before my eyes. The smile I’ve seen often lately isn’t there, but her expression is the same as when she goes to university. Looking at Sendai-san like this makes me feel as if the ordinary days of having her beside me have returned.

“What should I say when I see Maika next time?”

I take the large bag that had been on my shoulder into my hand and lightly swing it so it bumps into Sendai-san.

“Tell her honestly that we started living together because you were ordering me around for five thousand yen.”

“There’s no way I can say that.”

“Then get through it by saying we became friends because of the money you lent and borrowed at the bookstore.”

Sendai-san speaks in a brighter voice than before and starts walking again. The streetlight shining on her as she walks two steps ahead feels strangely bright.

“If we say we were friends, then what about the time in high school when I told Maika I wasn’t close with Sendai-san? How do I explain that?”

“We had no contact at school, so we can say it was difficult to bring up.”

“Sendai-san, you’re just saying whatever comes to mind because it’s not your problem. Think about it properly. I don’t think Maika will get angry, but if I give too vague an answer, I don’t know what will happen.”

“If she gets angry, just apologize. Utsunomiya seems like the type who’d forgive you if you apologize properly.”

“I’ll apologize, and I think she’ll forgive me, but I’m not sure she’ll accept a vague reason.”

Just as Sendai-san said, Maika would forgive me if I apologized properly. Even if the reason was only somewhat reasonable, if it seemed like something I didn’t want to be asked about, she wouldn’t force it out of me, and while complaining she’d still forgive me. It had always been that way until now.

However, there had been too many lies I told about things concerning Sendai-san. Normally Maika wouldn’t do something like forcibly exposing secrets, but this time I didn’t know what would happen.

"Because of Umina and the others that I didn’t want anyone to know I was friends with Miyagi, and that I made you keep quiet about it."

"That would make Sendai-san the bad guy."

"It’s fine. Being the bad guy."

Sendai-san said it casually and smiled.

It was unfair that she could smile at times like this.

The always kind Sendai-san looked even kinder.

I wanted to stay by her side forever.

"Not good."

I stopped walking and bumped my bag into Sendai-san.

But Sendai-san didn’t stop.

"It’s fine. That way the things I couldn’t say in high school will be resolved. The circumstances of how we became close, and keeping quiet about becoming roommates, we can think about the details later."

Sendai-san, walking a little ahead, spoke in a light tone.

I continued watching her back.

"Miyagi, don’t stop. Keep walking."

About ten steps ahead, Sendai-san turned around.

Our eyes met and my heart thumped loudly.

"Sendai-san, why are you being so kind to me? Like I said earlier, if you hadn’t searched I was planning to return tomorrow anyway."

"Really?"

"I was planning to contact you."

"I might’ve gone searching even if you contacted me."

Her flat voice reached me.

I didn’t understand the meaning of the words she said.

"Why?"

"Because I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. What if I said that?"

"One more day would’ve been fine."

"I wanted to see Miyagi so much that I couldn’t wait even one more day."

With a voice so serious it sounded exaggerated, Sendai-san started walking toward me. One step, two steps, three steps.

She approached little by little and stopped right in front of me.

"Nothing but lies."

I said it in a voice that was neither strong nor weak, and Sendai-san smiled as if troubled.

Her faint smile melted into the streetlights that pushed back the darkness, and it made me feel like I’d done something terribly bad, so I couldn’t move.

There was no mistake that she’d been worried about me.

That was clear from the messages she’d sent.

But wanting to see me so much that she couldn’t wait even one more day, there was no way Sendai-san would think that.

Even without looking back on the past, I had no memory of doing anything that would make her want to see me. I’d only been selfish, and I’d tried to distance myself many times. This time too, I’d secretly run away.

It was strange for Sendai-san to want to see someone like me.

"Not as much as Miyagi."

Sendai-san turned her usual smile toward me.

"It’s getting late, so let’s go home quickly."

Her gentle voice could be heard.

Even so, my feet wouldn’t move.

"If you don’t walk, I’ll hold your hand and pull you along."

Saying that, Sendai-san started walking.

I silently watched her back, and she soon turned around.

"Miyagi, walk."

"If I don’t walk, weren’t you going to hold my hand?"

"Stop saying childish things and walk by yourself."

Sendai-san said with a sigh and came back. Then after hesitating a little, she grabbed the handle of the bag I was holding and pulled it.

Instead of our hands connecting, the bag became lighter.

Sendai-san started walking, and I moved my feet as if chasing after the bag that was trying to go ahead.

"What was the reason you didn’t come home until today?"

Sendai-san, walking beside me, asked quietly.

"......It was just that it was hard to face you."

"I thought so."

"Sorry."

When I apologized quietly, Sendai-san called me in her usual voice.

"Hey, Miyagi," she said, and looked at me as usual.

"What?"

"Let’s go buy piercings together."

"Sendai-san’s?"

"Yours. I’ll buy you a cute one."

Sendai-san said in a soft voice and pulled the bag.

"I don’t need it."

"It’s a punishment game. You broke the rule that you have to contact me when staying out, so obediently let me buy you piercings."

"I did contact you."

"That doesn’t count as contacting. If I hadn’t contacted you, you would’ve come back without saying anything, right?"

"......When are we going?"

It wasn’t that I wanted Sendai-san to buy it for me, but since I broke the rule I had no choice but to accept her proposal.

"Any day you want to go is fine, Miyagi."

Her gentle voice disappeared into the night sky.

Sendai-san walked slowly.

Matching my steps to hers and walking slowly, it felt like the flow of time had slowed down as well.