Volume 4 Interlude

 Whether winter break is near or far, once I leave Miyagi’s house, there is only one place to go.

A home where no one answers “welcome back” to my “I’m home.”

I walk home slowly, take off my shoes, say “I’m home” toward the living room, and go upstairs.

I enter my room and turn on the light. I hang my coat on a hanger and put the five-thousand-yen bill I received from Miyagi into the piggy bank.

Today I learned two things I didn’t know before.

One is that there exists a ridiculously sweet candy called fudge.

I didn’t know until I ate it in Miyagi’s room today. I was surprised that she brought out sweets at all, and even more surprised by how sweet it was. She rarely offers snacks, yet today she served this unknown thing called fudge and even added tea, so I braced myself, wondering if something bad was about to happen. On top of that, she even fed it to me herself, so anything could have happened.

But what actually happened was something good.

I start to lift the piggy bank, then stop.

I no longer put five-hundred-yen coin into the piggy bank that would reach one million yen if filled with them. Inside are only the five-hundred-yen coins I put in before I started going to Miyagi’s house and the five-thousand-yen bills from Miyagi. The increasing five-thousand-yen bills don’t make the bank noticeably heavier when held, so there’s no point in lifting it.

The number of times I can add “Miyagi’s five-thousand-yen” to this piggy bank from now on is limited. When I think about that, it seems the weight won’t change enough to feel even in the future. If I could meet Miyagi enough times for the weight to change…

I don’t particularly want to save five-thousand-yen bills, but I do want to meet Miyagi enough times to make the piggy bank heavy. And I want to keep meeting her even after graduating high school.

That’s what I think.

“Winter break is almost here.”

The thing that would have stolen chances to meet Miyagi changed into something that allows us to meet, thanks to the other thing I learned today I didn’t know: that Miyagi wanted to study with me during winter break so badly she offered conditions. And it’s a winter break with no five-thousand-yen involved, having absolutely no effect on the weight of the piggy bank.

I repeat the words Miyagi said today.

“...Come teach me during winter break.”

Told in a quiet voice, that was exactly what I wanted to hear. It would have been enough if she had just reluctantly said I should teach her during winter break too, yet she asked me to teach her in exchange for kisses.

Actually, if Miyagi hadn’t brought up winter break today, I was prepared to invite her to study together myself, but I didn’t have to. I do have complaints about her for using kisses as a bargaining chip yet refusing to tell me her university choice, but I have no complaints about today’s Miyagi.

I place a small stand mirror on the table and sit on the floor.

When I look at my neck in the mirror, the chain of the pendant Miyagi gave me is reflected, along with another thing she gave me today.

“Does it stand out?”

I didn’t check in a mirror at Miyagi’s house, so I couldn’t tell, but there is a mark on my nape that may or may not disappear by tomorrow.

The culprit who made this bite mark today is Miyagi, and the cause is me.

It’s my own fault. I took advantage of her not stopping me and went too far. After the kisses sweeter than fudge, I undid all the buttons of her blouse and even unhooked her bra, so it’s no wonder she bit me.

But I wish she had thought a little more.

Biting in a place that won’t be hidden even if I button the blouse all the way up is just too cruel. It would be fine if I were only walking home at night like today, but thinking about going to school, it’s not good. This mark that proves today’s unusual Miyagi wasn’t a dream is something I want to keep, but if it doesn’t disappear, I don’t know what people will say at school tomorrow.

“I think it’s lemon for hickeys.”

I don’t know how to erase bite marks, but I know how to erase hickeys. I’m not sure if it’s true or not, but Umina once said that putting sliced lemon on a hickey makes it disappear.

I remember clearly because I told this when I saw the bruise on Miyagi’s leg.

At that time, Miyagi suddenly said we should test whether lemon really works on hickeys, and she left a mark on my arm. In the end, we didn’t have any lemon, so we still don’t know if it actually works.

Miyagi has only done unexpected things since back then.

“What should I do?”

I haven’t checked the fridge, but just like at Miyagi’s house, we probably don’t have any lemons right now. I heard heating or cooling also works, so maybe I could try one of those.

I press my palm against the mark Miyagi left.

Then I push hard.

I want to transfer the heat of my palm to the bite mark, but it’s not that hot. It was hotter when I was touching Miyagi.

I think I wanted to touch her more.

I should have touched every place I could see.

I should have felt her chest before she clung to me.

If I had done that, the bite mark under my palm now might have become much worse, not just a mark but a wound that bleeds, but that would have been fine. If it became a wound I could skip school, have Miyagi come visit me, and then kiss her…

“...I should study.”

I remove the hand pressing the bite mark. If I keep thinking only about these things, I’ll dream of Miyagi.

Just like I dreamed of the Miyagi I touched on the last day of summer break, I’ll dream of today’s Miyagi and wake up to a not-so-good morning. I don’t want to drag the dream with me to school and spend the day in a gloomy mood.

I put away the stand mirror and change into loungewear.

I line up reference books and notebooks on the table.

Miyagi didn’t ask whether I’d eat dinner today, so I haven’t eaten yet, but I’m not in the mood to prepare anything. I haven’t tried warming or cooling the bite mark either, but that doesn’t matter anymore.

If the mark Miyagi left is still there tomorrow, I can just go complain to her. I can summon her to the music preparation room and complain a lot, a whole lot. If she doesn’t come, I can go to her house to complain.

It would at least give me an excuse to meet Miyagi.

“...How stupid.”

I draw a crocodile with tissue-paper fur in my notebook and put a big X over it.

The fantasy of getting an actual wound instead of a mark and the imagination of going to complain to Miyagi are both ridiculous.

Too many unusual things happened today.

My feelings won’t settle.

“I wonder what the plush toy is doing.”

The black cat plush I gave Miyagi for Christmas might be spending a restless night too.

I toss the pen aside and dive onto the bed.

I close my eyes and touch the mark Miyagi left with my fingertips.

My eyes open before the phone alarm rings.

Yesterday I couldn’t concentrate on studying because of Miyagi and didn’t sleep well either. Not sleeping deeply was because of the dream, and that too was Miyagi’s fault.

In the dream, I was doing the things yesterday’s me couldn’t do.

I really am the worst.

I exhale all the air inside me and burrow under the blanket.

I don’t want to get out of bed.

I press my palm against the place where Miyagi probably left the mark.

I don’t know what the mark looks like now.

It’s a hassle.

If I check and the mark is still clearly there, I’ll want to skip school. But I don’t want to stay in this house either. And I can’t just wander around skipping school. If the mark is gone, that’s fine, but then everything good that happened yesterday will feel like a lie, and I’ll become anxious.

Whether it disappears or not, I won’t be satisfied.

I roll around thinking about what to do, but time isn’t infinite. The phone alarm rings, and reluctantly I crawl out of bed.

I breathe in, breathe out.

I place the stand mirror on the table and look at the mark Miyagi left.

“Hmm…”

It’s fading.

Quite a lot.

I can tell there was a mark, but it’s faint enough that no one would notice unless they looked closely. Even if someone saw it, they wouldn’t know it was a bite mark. If I say I was bitten by a bug, it would look like that, and if I say I don’t know how it got there, people would probably just say, “Yeah, that happens.”

I feel both relieved and disappointed.

To put it simply, it’s an ambiguous result. Normally I should be glad the mark isn’t noticeable, but I can’t be honestly happy. I stroke the faded mark and go downstairs.

I brush my teeth, eat breakfast.

I finish preparing for school and change into my uniform. I stand in front of the mirror and button my blouse all the way up.

The mark Miyagi left still isn’t hidden.

But no one would notice unless they looked carefully.

I undo one button and leave the house.

If I do something I don’t usually do, something unnoticeable might stand out. Doing things the usual way is best. So I walk the freezing midwinter school route at my usual pace, go to school as always, and walk down the noisy hallway. Miyagi isn’t there. I go up the stairs and approach Class 3. I don’t pass Miyagi. The classroom isn’t so far that it takes ten or twenty minutes; I reach Class 3 in no time.

Before entering, I touch the faded bite mark.

Today this spot concerns me more than the pendant.

It’s just a mark and shouldn’t hurt, yet it does. It unnecessarily reminds me that the mark is there.

Everything Miyagi gives me is hard to handle. Five-thousand-yen bills I can’t spend, a pendant like a collar. There are other tangible things sleeping in my house too.

Today this “mark” follows me around and creates time when I can only think about Miyagi.

I press the mark hard with my fingertips and enter the classroom. I put my bag on my seat, go to where Humina and Mariko are, and say “Morning.”

“Hazuki, morning!”

Mariko replies energetically, followed by Umina’s low “Morning.”

“Umina, you don’t sound energetic.”

To be precise, she seems to be in a very bad mood. I think it’s troublesome first thing in the morning.

“I got caught trying to get a part-time job over winter break and my parents yelled at me.”

Umina says in an extremely grumpy voice, and Mariko continues with an exasperated tone.

“The timing is bad; it’s right before entrance exams. Right, Hazuki?”

“Yeah. Once exams are over you can work as much as you want, so just endure winter break?”

“I know, but…”

Umina says in a voice that has no intention of accepting it.

Both of them are looking at me, but they haven’t noticed the mark on my nape. Surely Umina won’t notice from now on either. Mariko won’t notice. Miyagi would notice, but I’m not even sure we’ll pass each other in the hallway. If she summons me today we’ll definitely meet, but she almost never calls me two days in a row, and after what happened I probably won’t be invited to her house either.

My hand tries to touch the mark, so I adjust my tie instead.

Winter break is near.

I wish Miyagi would call me over soon.

I tightly grab with my own hand the arm that wants to touch the bite mark.